in 2 days time, i'll be 25... i'm not going to fret on what i should do or not do coz i've done that before. i freaked out about a month ago when i realized that i'll turn 25 soon. but now i'm pretty much accept the fact that i will definitely be 25.

over 2004, i have some regrets and for 2005... some hopes... off course, i hope i could be a better and wiser girl. 2004 was all about break-ups, heartache, insecurities and bla2.... wish i don't have to go through it? maybe not, life would be pretty boring without the ups and downs... i don't think i can lead a monotanous life...

okla... hungry already. sleepy too. been working fucking hard these few days... i deserve a little rest. some dvd, a swim, and whatever it is...

dah lama aku x beli n baca paper. since dah jadi tsunami ni, hari2 aku baca perkembangan nyer. giler la.. was this the first time such things happened in Malaysia? All my life i believed that Malaysia is protected by most natural disasters. maybe that is not so true anymore. so, bawak2la bertaubat dari skrg yer tak?

when i was in Michigan, I took one econ class "Decision Making". We learnt how to make decisions, what factors affecting our decisions. I voluntereed in one study where we have to decide between two cases:

case 1:
you have food and can get safely to the destination to feed 100 people.

case 2:
you have food but it is not safe to get to 200 people.

which route will you choose? do you want to save 100 or 200 people? It is very hard. I'm not sure what I chose. But the point is, it is never easy to make a decision. Easp if it is something very vague like your future? Maybe at times like this it is wise to ask Allah make the decision for you. I truly beleive in prayer. You must pray and ask for HIS help. Afterall, this is Allah's world and we are only staying here for a while. one day we will leave this world. why worry so much about stuff. Just laid back and enjoy. Enjoy the little time we have on earth. if later on we faced a problem, take some times to grief, get back on your feet, find a solution and move on. that's what life all about. you fall... you get up again...

ui... bole jadi pakar perunding aku nih. maybe after aku abis kerja ngan pet, amik psychology class and jadi psychologist. ermm... interesting.

lately, aku spend aku nyer weekends to tgk baby, gi tgk member tunang, kahwin... you know.. seeing other people getting to the next phase of life... by the next year sure tgk baby member2 yg kawin this yr lak... uii... errmmm... my world is changing rapidly without me realizing it...

takla change sgt sbnrnya... mostly yg nak kawin ni pun my x-high school mate, x-budak2 asrama and x-primary school mate... cousin2 yg sebaya or younger... yg older suma dah kawin... even makcik aku yg paling lewat kawin pun dah kawin... so, next year... bila umur dah masuk 25... lagi few days jer tuh.. bole kira ngan jari dah... 7-8 days jer lagik... mesti aku akan dgr "so, jirah bila nak kawin? eer... jgn lambat2.. baik kawin skrg.. rugi tak kawin cepat2" agak2nyer kalau aku bagi penyepak sikit kat dia, ok tak? apa ingat aku sengaja ker buat gitu? tp karang kalau aku citer panjang lebar kang.. tak abis 3 hari 3 malam la pulak.

ermm.. baru dpt email dari aku nyer supplier. dia piss off skit sbb aku marah dia semalam. aku dah stress, dia pun dah stress... so.. apa lagi. kena hantar sorry card la camni.... flirt2 skit.. bagi sejuk hati dia skit... skali skala gaduh2 apa salahnyer. a little, harmless argument may streghthen a relationship what.....

ok, i shouldn't be doing this. kalau aku stay in the office until tonight pun i'm not going to finish my work... malas nyer la nak start. aku dah kemas meja... i do that everytime i feel like i don't want to do anything. every single things gone wrong right now. i think satu benda jer yg going smoothly. kat Tg. Sulong tgh load satu kapal yg dtg on time. itu jerla yg paling normal. yg lain suma gone crazy already. i was so stressed out yesterday i wonder why i still hairs on top of my head.

i am going crazy. what the hell i'm writing a blog when there's a million things to do? well... that's simple. although i have a to do list. i still cannot bring myself to really put the effort in doing them. malas la... malas... 10x

oohh... i got a pimple on my right cheek... lama dah tak tumbuh pimple kat situ. normally between the nose and lips or on the forehead. trasa pelik coz everytime i touch my face, trasa ada something is not right. ok2.. i should stop now. ramai lagi yg ada byk lagi pimple kat pipi dari aku.

last 2 nights watched a movie "Closer".. Natalie Portman berlakon jadi a stripper. she's a New Yorker and went to UK coz she was heart broken. in UK fell in love with a guy and guess what? she does not use her real name and after 4 years when the relationship simply does not work out, she left UK and went back to NY. It is very nice if I can do like that. go to a new place with a new name. if it does not work out. leave the place and identity. at least won't have to go to the places where you've been with the guy. easp when u are the one who has to stay and keep hearing that bla2 is bla2...and so on, so on... that sucks...
the tagline "if you fall in love on the first sight, you will never stop looking"

i am reading a book tilted "The Dirty Dozen". it's a military stuff... i know you would loved the book matde, that's why i never told you about it... eheheh... i want to read it first and since it's not mine, like hell i'm going to give it to you...

anyway, the book is about 12 soldiers that were condemned to the gallows... but someone in a the higher office wanted to use these men for invasion in someplace.. not too sure where.. the settings were during World War two..1944...it is very interesting and a page turner... i really really recommend this book.

i really cannot take coffe.. too much caffeine... my body just cannot accept it. mcm amik drugs lak rasa. not that i have taken any, i imagine jer.. tgn aku menggeletar, bdn trasa sejuk2 and i cannot think straight. at times like this when kerja menimbun2 terkena lak camni..

aku nyer lifestyle makin tak btul. before, due to never enough money around, aku tak minum soft drniks, junk food and stuff.. bole makan nasi and benda2 wajib jer... tapi skrg ni, mcm2 aku telan. byk duit la katakan... ehehe...

oo... just like to boost around.. i went to a sauna last friday and there was one lady that commented that i looked like a 19 year old... ehehe... bangga tu mmg takleh nak cakap la.. that nite, when i went out with bopi, i couldn't stop saying to him that i looked 19 sampai dia naik nyampah... but maybe without tudung baru nampak 19 kot... anyways, she just made my day... truly made my day. keh keh keh...

"All relationships end at some point -- some by break up or divorce, others by death. There are no guarantees in life and there are none in love. Amazingly, every time you love, you take a chance of being hurt or left, and yet we still yearn to love. This is because we inherently know that there is no greater joy then being in love. Remember all of the times you have gotten hurt in love already. You are still intact, all parts attached, functioning. You survived. If you fall in love, you will probably have to survive a loss of some sort again. But isn't it worth it? "

plus, as quoted by Tony Parson "if you want a guarantee, buy a toaster"

it is amazing how i have healed by now... i mean you should see me on sunday last 2 weeks. i look liked i could just kill myself. the first time, i took about a few months, the sec time about few weeks and the third time about few days... and fyi, this is done by the same guy...

the problem was, when i healed, i forgot... when i forgot and he comes back into my life, i will off course, accept him back easpecially when i am single... such a believer like myself always have a romantic ideas about love.. we put too much faith in people. we have no reason to hurt people, thus we think they won't hurt us too. so, we fall in love as easily as changing our clothes... we trust and believe and put our heart on his platter... and slowly... they slice it little by little and sprinkle some lemon juices to add some flavor and drop it nicely on the floor before finally trampled it with their big ugly legs... kalau nak luka kan tu... luka kanla habis-habisan kan...

to fall in love is something that i always wanted to feel. it is the best feeling in the world... it makes me smile and smile... and smile.....

baru jer abis meeting. giler banyak meeting aku skrg ni. is this good or bad?

in Petronas, since it is very big, you really have to look not only at your small division before making decisions. you need to evaluate in total. say if you need to ask people to shoulder your loss. you need to really study and look, if by shouldering your loss, is it a real loss compared to others? i might loose 10 dollars when they might loose 100 dollars... if you simply jump and shoot , then mampusla kena sembelih krg. and i am not a somebody yet. The "somebody" here really knows how to twist your words so that you will look very insignificant and stupid. you must be really careful not to cross this kind of people.

there's a lot of things that i learn during my months in petronas. easp since aku masuk ni, ada jer problem.... mcm pembawa masalah lak aku nih. one is try to think like a guy (almost all colleagues are guys). when discussing an issue, try not to be emotional, be objective, careful in wording your sentences, do not protray yourself as desperate or unprofessional. look at the issues in a bigger prospectives... i.e for the greater good for petornas. if all fails, everyone will use that words.

well... sbnrnya, aku selalu jugak loose my temper when talking to my supplier or customer. kalau time2 tgh PMS tuh. ada lak yg buat hal.. saja jer la tu kan. dptla a piece of my mind. sian diorg... ada yg sampai kena buang kerja. cheh... trasa mcm power jerkk...

alright... time to stop working for a little bit and eat.

watched Ocean Twelve last night. it was simple and nice to watch... takderla terkejut2... it was like watching a hindustan movie where you just sit back and relax. of course it needs to be simple.. just imagine how much is the cost to bring each cast in easp people like julia roberts and brad pitt. She is the most expensive actress in US. I think she still is...

I adore her... i'll watch any movies that she's in... a movie will be a good movie if there is a good actor in it. Like Nicole Kidman, even though she starred in a stupid movie called Stepford Wives, i still think it is a good movie.. the storyline was very simple... but she knows how to make it a good movie...

Movies I've watched lately:
1.Bride and Prejudice: pls do not watch this movies, you will feel like killing yourself by the end of the movie. It protrays India as a country that only knows how to dance and sing and finding a husband...

2. Veer-a-Zaara: i like it.. coz there's shah rukh khan... he is just awesome.

3. Incredibles: Must watch cartoon... sapa2 nak blanja aku tgk lagi.. please do so

4. Alexander: first movie i watched alone.. with no feelings... so... not too sure whether it's good or not. and colin ferrel is not as pretty as brad pitt...

5. Ocean Twelve: just awesome.. i like it..

tak byk sgt options kat mesia ni... movie yg sampai dahla lambat... tak byk lak tuh... i missed the days when i go to movies there always like 15-20 movies to choose from not 2-3.

in an attempt of procastination... aku gi tgk next year nyer cuti... tak byk sgt cuti... ada a few jer cuti panjang2. since aku ada byk giler lagi tmpt kat mesia ni yg aku tak explore. aku ingat aku nak gi la sementara tgh single nih. nanti kalau dah ada laki, byk songeh la pulak kan.

and i have decided to get marry a little late... maybe after 29 or 28. getting married ni not an easy thing. nak kena jaga hati banyak org. which is tiring... biasala tuh, kalau dah takder yg sudi kat aku, terpaksala ada mind set camtu. tak gitu kawan2? ehehehe

anyways, places i'm yet to visit:
1. Langkawi
2. Pulau Kapas
3. Pulau Perhentian: is this a pulau?
4. Pulau Pinang:
actually aku cuma pernah visit pulau pangkor jer. so... aku akan pegi ke semua pulau2 yg ada... i'm sure byk lagi tuh...
5. Sabah/Sarawak.

as of now, itu jer kot ambition aku... ermm.. rasa cam nak gi switzerland (betul ker tmpt ko ni nazim?) aku pun tak ingat... ehehe... bole yer... aku beli tix kpl terbang jer.. lain ko blanja bole?

so, sapa2 nak gi travel tuh, ajak2 la aku...

aku bz giler skrg nih.... bz2 pun sempat gak aku update aku nyer blog la kan... ehehee.. ok, tak kelakar.

sbnrnya byk lagi benda2 yg aku tak experience dalam idup ni and i cannot say that i can understand a lot of what people are experiencing because i just never have to face it. like, i cannot say that i know how it feels to live in a broken family because my family is just fine. i cannot say i know how it feels to lost a child because i never have one, to lost a parent coz i still have both parents, to never know your father/mother coz i still have them and bla2.. the list can be very long here. it is very unfair to me to say i know how they feel when i never have to experience it. you could never be prepared for these stuff.

but i know how it feels to be dumped, to fail in an exam, PMS, to lost a friend over trivial stuff, to know that i am not wanted, to listen to my friends how great their boyfriends are when they are well aware that my boyfriends sucks... and also... the list can be very long here...so, i just gonna cut it short.

when i look back (see, i told you, my life is anchored by my past), i still have a long way to go in my life.. there's a lot more stuff that i never experienced or encounter... so, it's time to just put everything behind and live. like always....

ehehe... i was too emotional yesterday... not too sure why i was so angry. Early PMS kot.. you know the time of the month when you think everything is wrong... ehehehe

anyways, it was a beautiful morning. not too hot and not too cold. traffic was good also. it's gonna be like this until next year... best2...

i am reading a book by Tony Parson recently. It is about a guy who get so fucked up, he lost everything almost overnight. so, i'm reading about relationship through the eyes of a guy. which is very rare. normally guys are more comfortable writing about wars, fights, twisted story lines but not about feelings... all in all.. it was a good read. and actually still is.

when i was having dinner with my customer yesterday, we were talking about the year we were born... my customer was born in '71, one trader in '74, another trader in '72... and i'm in '80.. they were shocked.. coz they never work with someone that born in '80s.. almost like from another era... glad i'm still young... i am young... don't i... eheheh.. eventhough i born about 3 months late. by right i should born in October '79.... but maybe i just reluctant to face the world.. so, i stayed another 3 months inside my mom. it must be very cozy....

okla... i hope this entry will soften a bit on my yesterday's entry...

ermm.... ok... ok?

I think my life was anchored by my past (inspired by Kerry Bradshaw as in Sex and the City) and what's worse is that i always fear my future. I fear a lot of things.. or as matde used to say, why do i have to think too much? cool it..

so, I think i need to change my perspective of life.. that is, to just live for today. I do not want to care what the future will hold. why... why must I even care even about the past? what good will it do? mostly painful anyway. Even though ada yg sweet.. in the end it will lead to the painful events.. a very painful one. Argghhh... looks like i'm abusing myself. tak sudah2 menyakitkan hati sendiri.

I wanted to think like a man. most of them have no regrets of what they did. they went out with other girls even though they have someone and saw nothing wrong with it. I am yet to meet a guy who cares enough not to go out with other girl whenever the opportunity arises. even when he is about to get married, he can say to me that he is just engaged and not too sure whether it will end up in marriage. what the fuck was he talking about? does he has any compassion on his poor tunang/girlfriend? There should be some sort of police to arrest these assholes. put them somewhere.. these people are dangerous... detrimental to the mental health of other girls... but wait... most police are men... so, what do they care? as long as they got what they need.. why care about the girl they hurt. she'll live through it they said... like hell we do.

stupid stupid men. my heart goes to girls being dumped or duped by these stupid men. i have become a bitter person.. very bitter. that's ok, i blame it on those guys who treated me like i'm a piece of shit. who have promised sweet things to me but never meant it. told me lies.... i wishh (too censored already).

fuhhh.... puas hati aku.

ermm.... ok... ok?

I think my life was anchored by my past (inspired by Kerry Bradshaw as in Sex and the City) and what's worse is that i always fear my future. I fear a lot of things.. or as matde used to say, why do i have to think too much? cool it..

so, I think i need to change my perspective of life.. that is, to just live for today. I do not want to care what the future will hold. why... why must I even care even about the past? what good will it do? mostly painful anyway. Even though ada yg sweet.. in the end it will lead to the painful events.. a very painful one. Argghhh... looks like i'm abusing myself. tak sudah2 menyakitkan hati sendiri.

I wanted to think like a man. most of them have no regrets of what they did. they went out with other girls even though they have someone and saw nothing wrong with it. I am yet to meet a guy who cares enough not to go out with other girl whenever the opportunity arises. even when he is about to get married, he can say to me that he is just engaged and not too sure whether it will end up in marriage. what the fuck was he talking about? does he has any compassion on his poor tunang/girlfriend? There should be some sort of police to arrest these assholes. put them somewhere.. these people are dangerous... detrimental to the mental health of other girls... but wait... most police are men... so, what do they care? as long as they got what they need.. why care about the girl they hurt. she'll live through it they said... like hell we do.

stupid stupid men. my heart goes to girls being dumped or duped by these stupid men. i have become a bitter person.. very bitter. that's ok, i blame it on those guys who treated me like i'm a piece of shit. who have promised sweet things to me but never meant it. told me lies.... i wishh (too censored already).

fuhhh.... puas hati aku.

ok... aku ada byk giler kerja yg aku dah put on hold. mmgla aku sorg yg handle LPG Operation kat Petronas nih when there should be two. so, i use that as an excuse.. patutla a lot of people love to procastinate. it just feels damn good. it feels so good to not do the stuff that we should do. u will feel the adrenalin rush... when it is just close to the dateline. and after that, for sure die of exhaustion la kan. but hey, if it feels so good, then why not do it again.

i have not gone swimming for like a whole month, and sunburn aku pun almost gone... it feels weird when dah lama tak bersenam nih. is swimming a sport? i sucks at spots yg berkumpulan. mainly due to my non-active years at high school where i spend most of the time sleeping or waking up from sleep. even masa buat PE pun sometimes aku bole tido... colleague aku ckp kat Mutiara Hotel ada fitness club yg provide swimming pool. it is amazing how KL do not have a public swimmming pool. i just could not find it anywhere in KL. and i've been searching forever.. so, i can only go swimming during weekends kat shah alam. which means i have to go home to Klang. sometimes malas nak balik.

i think cukup2la ni... krg boss suruh gi meeting, baru kelam kabut nak prepare. i like my boss and my colleague. they just awesome. no pressure and all. i can do almost everything i can. if i'm not a hard working person, i'm sure i'm gone half of the day.. and they don't seem to care. as long as i finish my job..

thoughtful giler aku nyer entry lately nih... ermm.. what an acomplishment from a person that inconsiderate and un-thoughtful nih. anyways, i'll try to make it less thoughtful this time.

i bought one book recently after too long not having a book to read. actually i'm reading a book "alcheimist" but i skipped too many pages.. which means, i don't really enjoy it. so... time for a new book

anyways, back to the book. it's called "sophies world". it's like reading a philosophy textbook. i've took one philo class and i kinda like it eventhough i slept through the class. there's nothing i can do about it.. i just cannot go to lectures... for sure i'll fall asleep. there's nothing new really. same old philo stuff.

i miss roller-coasters, is there any rollercoasters in malaysia? ermm.. yeah, time square. maybe should go there la sometimes. tapi satu jer. maybe i should go to theme park. okla... next week ker, or time christmas.. coollll....

kla... xder idea dah yg nak di ramblings kan...

adakah jodoh itu ditakdirkan? if it's true, then all we have to do is sit in our home and one day, we will surely meet him. maksudnyer, tak perlu berdoa or mencari. just sit and do nothing about it. mcm peribahasa melayu, takkan lari gunung dikejar. but how true is it?

ok.. say that i am a drop-dead gorgeous and a saint. every guy that knows me just couldn't help but fall in love with me. so, when i randomly chose a guy from the many guys that love me, then he surely is a saint too coz according to popular belief, budak yg baik akan bertemu ngan org yg baik and vice versa.

tapi jika jodoh itu bukanlah ditakdirkan, and aku sentiasa berdoa "jiha so-and-so ditakdirkan untukku, satukanla kami dgn segera. tp jika tidak, jauhkanla dia dari hati dan pandangan ku" surely aku takkan jumpa sapa2 sbb tidak ada org yg ditakdirkan utk aku. aku kena cari and berusaha for a perfect guy for me. like when taking an exam. i studied like crazy so that even when i failed, i can still look back and say "at least i've tried". so, i should try my best to find a good husband for myself. i do not think this is a trivial matter.. just imagine, we will have to live with our husband 24-7. we have to stand by him through thick and thin. or like rush love to say "getting married is like getting inside a kapal, when u are going trough rough sea, it is up to the captain and the sailor to save the boat.. what happen if the boat finally sink? will u sink with it ? will u jump out to save yourself?"

still... the question remains, adakah jodoh sudah ditakdirkan utk semua org? silala jawab if any of you have the answers.....

selamat ari raya semua... aku rasa raya tahun ni aku paling relax... i did almost nothing to my house (klang or ampang). kuih raya pun x buat. i think even last yr aku buat sikit kuih raya. tahun ni, awal2 lagi aku bg duit kat mak aku, suruh beli kuih raya and xder plan nak buat or even bake a cake. x kemas rumah.. maybe tomorrow kot.

i had a short discussion with my fellow friend last wednesday. he asked an opinion about his girlfren. when i think like guy, then i totally agree with him on how to deal with his GF. but if i'm a friend to her gf, i think i will somewhat disagree with him. my opinion is very bias because i know him but not his gf.

anyhow, i honestly think most of the time we know what is wrong and what is right, what we suppose to do... and not. the question is whether we care our significant other enough to comply with his/her request. I believe in relationship there's a lot of compromises between two parties. you cannot expect the other person to listen to you if you do not listen to her right?. also, the guy really need to be stern. if you cannot control your gf now. what happen when you guys got married? by control not necessarily using brute force, there's a lot of ways to do it. a guy can control a girl without her knowing it... it's up to the guy's creativity.

i know i sounded too feminists sometimes. that mostly due to my upbringing. i become independent too early and it's very hard to listen to other people (even my parents). as much as i hate to admit, i do respect a guy that can make me listen to him and for once ask me not to do something that i know i shouldn't do but i will do it anyway just because i wanted to.

okla.. selamat hari raya semua...drive safe and have a blast.

ngantuk nyer.... hi bloggers.. never in my life i use this words... BLOGGERS.... i am a blogger... because i have a blog. i write crappy stuff in my blog... sometimes funny, sometimes not... a lot of times emotional... but when we start putting stuff for people to read. we are actually exposing ourself to criticism... eg. i wrote down that i'm falling in love... poeple might think i have a boifren. when i'm actually not. it's ok to think that i have one coz.. my words are misleading.. what i really want to get across is that, people judge. like it or not, we do. so.. sometimes, when i read some other people's blog/journal... i think what crap is he/she writing about? and it is not even funny. so, i expect the same from my readers... it is really stupid to write down something for people to read but couldn't accept when people give their comment... takyahla tulis langsung kan?

okla... malas nak ckp pasal tuh dah. LANTAKLA SITU... Bole tak kalau aku balik skrg? ngantuksssssss nih. nak tido nih... malas dah ni.... okla.. nak gi jalan2 jap. nak tgk movie la today. puasa2 ni tgk movie, rasa bersalah lak.

the trouble with love is...

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It’s stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

It feels so good when u r falling in love... again... cannot stop smiling... i love receiving letters... real letters... now i'm telling the world... please... stop me from falling again... jiwang tak?

anyway, does women truly seeking freedom? some women are just fine living her whole life under his father/husband. camni... for example, dari lahir sampai kawin, she is under her father's care. always obedient. father say don't go to cinema etc.. she did not go... then got married, the same thing happen, and she does not bother at all... the question was doesn't she feels that she's missing a lot? she surely has no freedom to do whatever she likes. the only explanation that i can come out with is that, that is the only life she knows... so... she's not missing anything that she doesn't know right? sometimes problem gak bila you give the girl too much freedom. like me. i'm sure i cannot listen to my dad nor my future husband. i really value my freedom and cannot even begin to imagine a life under a man's control. of course, the husband will try to control you in one way or the other... they will start say do not do this... do not do that, which i cannot understand why... it is perfectly ok for a guy to leave his wife and children at home to see his friends and hang out but it is definitely not ok for a girl to do that... she can only do it if she's working or studying... maybe what i should do is to let my future husband know that i'm not as easy to handle...

in two months time i will be 25 years old... aiya.. so old already aaa? ermmm... what is it that i have accomplished aa throught these 24 years?

spent the first 7 years just growing up at home got bullied by my sis and ignored by my parents

then the next 6 years in primary school getting good grades and positions in school.. almost popular,

the next 5 years was a misery...stuck in all girls dorm and school.. got bad grades and always at the bottom of the class.. a nobody... until after SPM when i was a best student in my asrama... all the smart ones left already... what do u expect?.. ohh... got my first bf and all the experience that comes with it.

the next 1/2 year became a minah kilang.. befriended with budak2 kg yg almost for sure gonna get married in the next two years after school

the next 1 year in PPP... start mixing around with guys again... ermm.. awkward at first... got to know bopi and rush that later on become very important people in my life...

the next 4 year in the States.... lots and lots of things happened... met matde, my sec boyfriend... also a very important person in my life... graduated with cukup2 makan to get into petronas. did 3 different part-times.. travelled around the states...

the next 1 year... worked at shah alam as sales engineer... see i have deviated from my study field from the start

currently... working my ass off for petronas.... they really should pay my salary twice as i'm doing 2 people's job now.

looking at it, mcm tak byk jer yg aku dah accomplished... but as a person aku dah develope into a woman... albeit a small one.... i hope i can make a better decisions... i give a lot of thoughts when it comes to money but not to relationship.. so.. need to do something about it... what the hell.. if i like someone... just gonna go ahead and have fun with him... and think about the consequence later... easp when that someone had hurt me in the past.... which guy haven't by the way... maybe i'm too sensitive kot... apa aku mengarut ni?