skrg ni tgh duk menumpang kat bilik adik aku kat ukm. ada course kat permata... ada internet lak tu... best giler.. cam kat US lak. aku mmg jarang rindu kat umich or live at US. it's always better here because of my family are here... 2 benda jer.. okla 3 yg aku kdg2 terrindu2 kat. 1. rollercoaster, 2. good place for blading during spring time, 3. the whitness after one snowing nite. tiga benda ni susah giler nak dt kat malaysia.

tapi lucky i have a fiancee that's so understanding (i really do think my rantings at this blog really works..), he took me to this place in putrajaya and we went roller-blading together... it's not much but that's only because i'm afraid of slopes... so, gi jalan2 skit2 jerla. napa la diorg ni tak buat jalan yg cantik dan ber-tar macam kat fuller park tu. lama tul tak rasa keseronokan ber-blading ni. kalau ada jogging track pun jalan dia tak smooth. sakit kaki ku...

i'm not very good with sports. aku tak reti nak main netball pun. bola sepak jrg harap la... the only sports i enjoy is roller-blading and swimming. that if these can be called sport. at least i can shed some fat when did either one... i'm sooo conscious of my weight right now. i'm freaking 52 kg. that's so damn heavy. i so want to reduce it to at least 48kg, i bought majalah Rapi and started to read diet plans... most people said i don't look 52 but i feel 52. semua fat tgh berkump kat perut comei aku ni.... tension... tension... when i was at umich, thanks to matde, i loss like 20 lb. balik2 kat mesia, slowly2 bdan naik... scary...

i've been thingking lately how difficult it is to be in a relationship and to keep it alive... i know, some people say, if u love someone, it shouldn't be difficult for both of you to stay together. this might be true for the first year. but what happen in the next 2,3,4 years? should we move on and find someone ? start all over again when the relationship gets rocky? i guess most of teenagers do that coz if i can recall correctly, most of my friends dump their boyfriends after 1 year. but it should be ok because they are still young and can meet someone els after they get into college. must be boring to stay in a relationship with a teenage boy for 9 years which we never know if he will grow up by the end of the 9th year. it will be very painful to leave him by then.

ok... that's not the point actually. two people are meant to be different. even if u think that a person ada perangai yg agak2 sama... there must be something about him that's different. so, one thing u have to remember, your partner sometimes cannot be as what u wanted. i have freinds that broke up with their bf/gf after 3-4 years in a relationship and said that she is not what he expected to be. of course she is... so, you left her and the next time u find someone else and u will quickly dump her when u cannot deal with her?

i think a man needs to play a very big part in a relationship. lelaki kan sepatutnyer memimpin/menjaga/menyara perempuan. sepatutnyer la kan.... they are the ones that supposedly emotionally stable. and women known as an emotional being. so, it is natural for women to be angry, demanding and all sorts of emotional stuff. so, it is the man's job to handle a woman. kalau la lelaki ni rajin sikit nak menjalankan tugas2 nyer sebagai lelaki... i'm sure there will be less break-ups. and it is important also for the guy to be supportive. being emotional, sometimes we do stupid things and consequently we will regret the stupid things we did. and pls don't think we don't know that it's stupid because we are not that stupid... so, why can't u just be supportive and assure us that things should be ok? takyahla nak membebel2.... tak gitu sayang ku?

feels good to be able to do this again. dah lama la katakan tak meluahkan perasaan.....

dah lama giler tak buat entry sampai password pun lupa. anyways, things are a little crazy on my part. since aku skrg dah agak2 actively involved with curricular activity in my dept, i'm going to be very busy until July. but let's not talk about work... it's endless

ini iklan skit yer... the next time you guys see me, pls don't ask anything about matde. if you really2 want to know what's going with him, kindly call his mobile and ask.. i'm done with saying things about him. i'm not a broadcaster ok.. so.. pls...do me this one favor... kalau korg duduk2 ngan aku tapi tak tau nak cakap apa2... u guys don't have to say anything. coz peopla who knows matde but don't really know me will ask about him just to make a conversation.. i don't mind at all if u guys don't say anything... don't worry...

anyways, we are still engaged... but have no date for marriage yet.

camner la aku bole terckp pasal ni when actually i wanted to talk about something else... ohh well.. later la kot.