Thursday, October 16, 2008

today my 2nd day in spore this month
everytime i went on a trip, there's always a part of my breast that got engorged
not sure why this happen. i think i pump out the milk inefficiently that some was left out
i just hate it. it really hurts and i just have to pump it out
i'm using manual pump now. the electrical suction was so weak....
i'm aiming for medela PISA or freestyle for my next baby
my hubby thinks that it is such a waste of money to buy breast pump and all because he thinks i am a very lazy person. dont think i will be committed to pump all the time.
i think he is right... as much as i hate it, have to admit that he is always rational and he thinks before he does things. so glad to have someone so rational to handle the irrational me.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

lately all my thoughts centered around my workplace
somehow i have this feeling that it's getting out of hand
i dont know what i'm doing anymore. my relationship with my boss not very good
most of the time i feel i am at loss
i hate to just give up. it doesnt feel right to give up
i like my job. i like talking to people and the occasional travelling
but the resposibility is just killing me
have to make money all the time. that's what marketing all about
and i've been spending a lot lately. it has gone to 3 digits now
it feels so good to spend. everytime i'm stress at work
i go to salon and pamper myself or buy myself very very expensive things
the latest splurge was on my moisturizer and powder. i dont have pimple problem
and yet i want to buy something very expensive on myself
so, without thinking, i went in to MAC and just bought it
god... i really should put a brake on this pampering myself thingy.
i also started to pay a little bit more attention on myself.
before raya i went to do my hair. it was very expensive... yesterday i went for facial for the very first time. planning to do nails next
definitely has to start buying shoes/sandals again.
i always wanted another baby. mainly because it is such a great distraction on my career.
but matde say no and this time he put it as "i dont think u can handle two crying babies in a car or in a mall by yourself. you know i will be very busy and u will definitely take your children anywhere even by yourself". that is so much truth in it that i think i should at least wait until he is less busy or got pregnant during his senior year.
that's why never got married with a student. i have to be very independent. last weekend i went to Banting by myself because my husband got an exam. my baby cried for 15 minutes without stopping while trying his hardest to get out of his seat. i was so scared he is going get seizure. luckily somehow i manage to calm him down and he went straight to sleep.