My son is getting curious at things.
Some of the questions are pretty hard to be answered.
Yesterday we were sitting on the chair that my late mom and dad used to sit
No one sat there anymore and it collected some dust
His first question was why is the chairs so dirty?
I answered this was atuk n nenek chair. Then he saw my mom's scooter.
He asked whose scooter it was and I answered
Then he asked why no one used that scooter, I answered because nenek has passed away
I guess he remembered his grandpa or grandma funeral and start asking about why nenek passed away
That is so hard to answer because he wouldn't understand what cancer is
I did say nenek has a bad stomach ache and she was sick. He got scared. He said he doesn't want to get stomach ache.
Whenever my son asked questions I try my best to answer him with things that he can relate with
I hope he can understand it
I remembered when I was a child I use to wonder about things and I hope I can guide my son and will not stop him to be curious at things

Every Ramadhan i try to improved myself spiritually and will try to increase my ibadah. normally i do it by trying to read Quran and it's meaning. somehow i cannot relate the meaning to my life at all. Quran should be the guidance of our life and we should be able to apply it as it is timeless. so, i search the net and you tube of some tafsir since i dont have time to go find scholars and dedicate some hours for this. this is the best i can do for now. alhamdullilah, found some tafsir from Brother Nouman Ali Khan. Have been listening to it since then whenever i can, which is very little indeed with juggling between work, kids and husband.

the tafseer were dated since 2009 and it is very contemporary. He explains each word in each ayat and try to relate it to current situation. it gives an insight and deeper meaning than the Quran translation that i normally read. Masya Allah... the first tafseer i listened was surah Al Asr. Masya Allah... this surah really gives me perspective of what i should prioritize in my life. if any of the reader have time, please go and study this surah. "Demi Masa sesungguhnyer manusia dalam kerugian"
and there is actually a song about it.

i am not a scholar and will not be able to give any commentary on the surah or whatsoever. according to Brother Nouman human in nature is obsessed. we will try to find something to worship over. some goes after dress, games, girls... etc etc... when we really should be worshipping Allah. somehow i saw the truth in it. i was quite lost before, since i have no passion for anything, i feel a bit lost really. when i hear this and try as best to worship Allah in a deeper meaning. to truly worship Allah and do it not because it is mandatory but to do it because i want it. I can now look at the world differently than before. what i have and what i think or even the advises i give to my colleague at work does not come from me. it came from Allah... subhanallah...

I still have issues about my hubby not giving enough money though. this one i still work on it and will try to deal with it maybe for the rest of my life.

May Allah never stop giving us guidance

i have been always fascinated by economics even when i dont knonw what it means and still kinda confuse what an economist do.
and i dont know how to be an economist. i always have this craving of wanting to be an economist. so, last night, i looked it up in the net. i found that to be an economist, mostly i will have to have some master degrees at least.
it has a lot of maths. so, good in math is a bonus. i think i am good in math.
i have also read some economics book. i've read two Friedman's books. both are too boring but i endured it. and some other econ books.another thing is that i have to improve my writing skill. actually i have to be good at it.
i have always wanted to improve my writing skills. maybe i need to find a class and pay for myself. the objective is for me to select a topic.. whatever it will be and write coherently about it. nothing like writing in a blog

so, for the next two months, i will assign myself to read the economist on a weekly basis. choose a topic of a day and try to write coherently in this blog. i still want to try to become an economist. maybe when i already finished paying of my student loan and mr. hubby managed to get a much higher pay job. in the meantime, will just figure out how to be an economist on part time basis.

sometimes i wish mr. hubby will stop his obsession with internet games. but it will be not called an obsession if he can stop it that easily.