never have i imagine that i will be living in a family that only communicate through the maid. that sounds so dysfunctional.
i myself tried to call them directly but my phone calls was not picked up or sms replied.
so, what can i do? if u cannot beat it, just join it
i think i just going to give up trying to have a right communication channel
maybe i need to pass masseges through my maid also
and how annoying it is when my in laws keeps calling the maid for whatever reason.
sometimes i need her to help out and she is not around. this is soooo annoying
could it be i'm at home for too long? almost 4 months now and it's getting a bit boring

apparently my dad is ready to marry again
and we are still mourning the death of our beloved mother
he did not include his children on his decision.
shouldnt what we say matters?

for the past few weeks i have hired taxi to go to hospital for my therapies.
yesterday had conversations with a cab driver about doctors.
there's a huge difference in terms of salary between government and private hospitals. some of the doctors in gov hospitals decided to stay albeit this difference. it got me thinking... indeed, money is not everything. he can accomplish much more and contribute more untuk bangsa and agama in gov. he will teach and train new doctors... MasyaAllah. betapa mulia nyer hati. the diff is more than 50-60k.

i dont know if i can do it if i have this option. or if my husband has it. i might pester him endlessly. i love money and i love this world. i hope i will not love it too much that i dont ever want to let it go. seperti kata uztaz kazim, "jgnla menyimpan dunia di dalam hati sehingga tak mahu melepaskannyer" kerana satu hari aku akan meninggalkan dunia ini. yg pasti aku akan mati satu hari nanti. tiada yg lagi pasti dari mati.

got a book "eat pray love" from my sis yesterday
it is quite good
and quite different than other books that i read.
she had family problem but she did not discussed it there
it is more about faith.. she is so unhappy that she turns to god
i only read few pages so far.
normally if the intro is good, the rest of the book will be interesting too

yesterday was the first time i went back to my father's house post GBS. it feels so good. raya i will be able to come home again. yeay.
it's weird that i will feel so very tired after an outing. i can say all outing is like that. very very tiring. maybe it will be very tiring to be on high concentration (this sounds wierd)

cannot imagine driving. bila sampai office penat giler? ermmm....
pastu kena tido 2 jam and then ok balik ker?
kalau takleh drive, i cannot go back to work.
should i come back by next year jer? amik unpaid leave?
if i really cannot cope when i came back later... will consider this.

3 minggu sudah berlalu
matde dah balik rumah from canada. i'm extremely happy
life definitely not the same without him
missing him like crazy when he was away

another milestone. i can walk without aid on a flat surface. still need tongkat on uneven surface. according to the therapist i need to work on my knees pulak. skrg ni susah nak amik wuduk sbb knee weak and takleh nak bongkok. rukuk pun problem

dah ada exersice regime baru at home guna band. priority will be given to knee and then hips. she also advised me to slowly prepare myself to go back to work. try to be active like getting ready to work until perhaps lunch time and see how long i can sustain. currently i mostly sit down on the floor. sbnrnya duduk kat kerusi pun very tiring for me. camner la nak bawa keta ni. ishh

plan to start sunday. esok nak try the new exersice. excited sbb baru hari ni beli band tuh. maybe next week i will be discharged from occupational theraphy. yey....