i am participating at this one forum...
malaysian are generally reserve people.
most of the time we dont speak up in public
i think this is true even for managers
i came to me as a surprise that managers in my organization also will not speak up in public
for a company as established as the one i am in, i am expecting more vocal leaders, more upto date and daring leader
or maybe i was hoping too much?
being a young executive, one that just came back from overseas, i thought i can make a difference... initially i am a bold person, even if i dont know shit about something, i can put a straight face and talk about it like i know all about it... i've tried it during the last presentation skill course. but of course, i must not tell it to people who are in the same field
coz they surely know i was bullshitting all the way...
the problem was, when i think i know it, i assume that it is true.. which is not always the case. never crossed my mind to check it first. this one manager always caught me doing it. so i was shot and shot and shot down. now, i am no longer as bold.
i am quite afraid what i said will backfire. maybe one day when i am a boss. i must take the responsibility. sit in a driver seat so that i can drive myself to my desired destination
if i'm sitting on a passenger seat, god knows where i will be
normally my spirit will be fired up after a few session of motivational talks
but after 2-3 days, heheh... the fire will rekindle and slowly fading away
but this time, i will make sure i sit on the driver seat. i will put it on my table so that i will remember. i will not be the victim... must take charge of my own career.
whatever happen, i will not let my boss give me a 4 like he did last time.
i know i can be a great leader and i will definitely be one in a good time.
mainly because i loooovveeee to give people orders.. it give me a weird satisfaction after giving order... it somehow makes me feels good.....

i used to feel so stressed out pasal my baby
he cries and cries almost all the time.
i tried giving him extra milk.... nestum, whatever la... as long as he is quiet.
now the best solution is, when i think i can't take it anymore, i pass the baby to my hubby, cool down a little bit. x sampai 1/2 jam dah rindu kat baby balik. so, time tu jaga la baby jap
and now i eat and drink whatever i want
i feel like i need to reward myself for working very hard everyday
working 9-6, pump breastmilk 3 times a day, and waking up 3-4 time at night to breastfeed, taking care of baby when i got home by 7 and trying my best to help out my mother-in-law, keeping my room clean... and the list goes on and on.....
i dont think so much these days, i just do do do
being a mom is not easy but sometimes i couldnt belief it could be this hard
i need to remind myself not to get too stress out. eat whatever, when i about to feel too exhausted try to rest a little. i exploded once.. and i'm sure it wont be the last
i just hope i can control it before it ruin my life

nowadays, my appetite is still the same when i'm pregnant
worst, i can still finish up the food even when it is not tasty
almost everytime my hubby bought me food, i'll tell him how awful the food is and yet i'm able to finish it. anyway, i am still thankful coz i am losing my pregnancy weight day by day, i can wear almost all my old clothes now. still quite tight but at least can fit into it now... tak macam dulu, langsung tak bole masuk.

i got another 15 minutes break and i'm using it to write my blog
is there something wrong with me?
last year was a lott of distraction for me
got married, got pregnant, got baby. not so concentrate on my career
now everything pretty much settled
i can concentrate more on my job.
in my line of work, i need to know practically everything
for me, this can be challenging, coz it's not easy for me to remember things
i read a lot, and forget a lot too
sentiments play a huge role in pricing... u hear some explosion here and some country bombing another country and the price jump up like crazy. nowadays not necessarily price increase if demand surpass supply... fear is also a factor...
anyways, it is still pretty much interesting
will move to another department once things gets too routine here.
lucky me, i can move around anytime i want