tomorrow i will be officially 28 yrs old
reaching the big 3 O....
wow... i'm a mom now
nasib baik anak aku nyer tulang kuat
entah camner la aku handle dia. pakai angkat jer kdg2
hopefully tak tersalah urat or anthing
2007 is the most professionally-unproductive year and a very family-productive..
this year alone, on top of my 15 days annual leave, i took 7 days marriage leave, 2 weeks MC and 60 days of maternity leave..
got married and got a son.
so much is happening in 2007. definitely a year that i will not forget
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
taking care of my newborn is really stressing me out
everyday around 5-6pm i get very2 stressed, hungry, tired and angry and just want to yell at people. my plan to change my son's habit on sleeping in a hammock also not working very well
for days, i tried to lay him on a bed and an hour later he's awake. so, he wakes up crying.... demanding nipple to get back to sleep. he doesnt want artificial nipple. so.. my nipple get sore from too frequent suckling.
kenapala aku ikut ckp mak aku suruh letak baby dalam buai, i should just let him cry and try to put him to sleep on the bed. skrg ni aku tak tau camner nak tidurkan anak aku kat rumah mak mentua krg
dahla bilik kecik giler. aku suruh pindah bilik adik dia yg bsr skit taknak. suruh pindah rumah taknak.. kenapa la aku jerrrr yg kena mengalah. krg aku geram aku pindah jer duk rumah sendiri. sewa sendiri2... kalau laki aku sukaaaaa sgt duk rumah mak dia tu
arrggghhhhh tension nyer
my mom also not helping. x bole buat tu la, mandi kena pukul 5 ptg jugak. kena pakai bengkungla, maghrib kena pangku baby la... mcm2 la... rimass.. biarla aku buat apa yg aku nak. tension tul. kenapa suma ni men"tension"kan aku ni????
dahla anak aku ni asyik melalak jer. baru bangun tido, dah termuntah2 minum susu, dah tukar diaper, pun nangis jugak. sakit kepala aku. macam ni bole ke aku handle sorg lagi? i thought pregnancy is difficult enough. it took me about 4-5 mths to finally accept the fact that i'm pregnant and about to become a mom soon. i'm 27 years old and i should be ready. most people already have 2-3 kids by this age. laki aku taula pulak tak selesa duk rumah mentua. dia ingat aku ni seronok sgt duk rumah mak dia... baik aku stop sblm keluar benda2 lain aku nak complain
Ya Allah, berilah aku kekuatan untuk mengharungi cubaan ini.
everyday around 5-6pm i get very2 stressed, hungry, tired and angry and just want to yell at people. my plan to change my son's habit on sleeping in a hammock also not working very well
for days, i tried to lay him on a bed and an hour later he's awake. so, he wakes up crying.... demanding nipple to get back to sleep. he doesnt want artificial nipple. so.. my nipple get sore from too frequent suckling.
kenapala aku ikut ckp mak aku suruh letak baby dalam buai, i should just let him cry and try to put him to sleep on the bed. skrg ni aku tak tau camner nak tidurkan anak aku kat rumah mak mentua krg
dahla bilik kecik giler. aku suruh pindah bilik adik dia yg bsr skit taknak. suruh pindah rumah taknak.. kenapa la aku jerrrr yg kena mengalah. krg aku geram aku pindah jer duk rumah sendiri. sewa sendiri2... kalau laki aku sukaaaaa sgt duk rumah mak dia tu
arrggghhhhh tension nyer
my mom also not helping. x bole buat tu la, mandi kena pukul 5 ptg jugak. kena pakai bengkungla, maghrib kena pangku baby la... mcm2 la... rimass.. biarla aku buat apa yg aku nak. tension tul. kenapa suma ni men"tension"kan aku ni????
dahla anak aku ni asyik melalak jer. baru bangun tido, dah termuntah2 minum susu, dah tukar diaper, pun nangis jugak. sakit kepala aku. macam ni bole ke aku handle sorg lagi? i thought pregnancy is difficult enough. it took me about 4-5 mths to finally accept the fact that i'm pregnant and about to become a mom soon. i'm 27 years old and i should be ready. most people already have 2-3 kids by this age. laki aku taula pulak tak selesa duk rumah mentua. dia ingat aku ni seronok sgt duk rumah mak dia... baik aku stop sblm keluar benda2 lain aku nak complain
Ya Allah, berilah aku kekuatan untuk mengharungi cubaan ini.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
ada baby ni mmg betul2 memenatkan
kdg2 aku cuma dapat tido 3 jam jer sehari...
bila nak lelap jer dia jaga
pastu kena susukan, tukar diaper, burp kan... kalau tak, muntah2
nasib baik ada buai. tapi aku nak dia stop guna buai. so, gonna try my very best to change his habit. skrg ni try slow2 tidokan dia tanpa buai
aku rasa it's a great accomplishment kalau aku berjaya biar dia tido atas tilam
dulu boleh. tapi since dia tido dalam buai ni
kalau letak kat atas tilam jer sure bangun
tapi senang skit nak tido kan kalau dalam buai
takper, aku masih ada dalam 1 bulan lagi nak try change all this
with my strong will, i'm confident i can do it
tapi kalau anak aku ni strong willed jugak susah la
jadi contest of will la pulak
kdg2 aku cuma dapat tido 3 jam jer sehari...
bila nak lelap jer dia jaga
pastu kena susukan, tukar diaper, burp kan... kalau tak, muntah2
nasib baik ada buai. tapi aku nak dia stop guna buai. so, gonna try my very best to change his habit. skrg ni try slow2 tidokan dia tanpa buai
aku rasa it's a great accomplishment kalau aku berjaya biar dia tido atas tilam
dulu boleh. tapi since dia tido dalam buai ni
kalau letak kat atas tilam jer sure bangun
tapi senang skit nak tido kan kalau dalam buai
takper, aku masih ada dalam 1 bulan lagi nak try change all this
with my strong will, i'm confident i can do it
tapi kalau anak aku ni strong willed jugak susah la
jadi contest of will la pulak
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
anak aku skrg dah start meragam.
the 1st 2 weeks, dia elok jer... lepas menyusu... terus tido
skrg ni dah start berjaga. kdg2 berjaga mlm, kdg2 siang, kdg2 maghrib.
kalau time malam tu, ada naik mengamuk jugak aku
dahla ngantuk giler.... pastu kena tenangkan dia.
aku dah susukan dia 2 jam. pastu dia mcm tak puas jugak, aku kasi susu formula... still tak tido, aku kasi puting, dia taknak.
patutla kdg2 mak2 ni asyik hangin jer
mana tak nyer, kena layan kerenah anak
skrg ni, aku mmg takkan judge any mother yg agak bengis kat anak dia (i used to judged them)
mmg menjaga baby ni satu pekerjaan yg sgt2 mencabar. silap2 boleh jadi giler... insyallah aku masih waras by the time anak aku 7-8 mths
hopefully by then dia nyer schedule dah ok.
kalau still tak tido malam. aku rasa aku bole pengsan kat office.
not that i have many work to do... still, i have to read a lot. reading makes me very very sleepy.
the 1st 2 weeks, dia elok jer... lepas menyusu... terus tido
skrg ni dah start berjaga. kdg2 berjaga mlm, kdg2 siang, kdg2 maghrib.
kalau time malam tu, ada naik mengamuk jugak aku
dahla ngantuk giler.... pastu kena tenangkan dia.
aku dah susukan dia 2 jam. pastu dia mcm tak puas jugak, aku kasi susu formula... still tak tido, aku kasi puting, dia taknak.
patutla kdg2 mak2 ni asyik hangin jer
mana tak nyer, kena layan kerenah anak
skrg ni, aku mmg takkan judge any mother yg agak bengis kat anak dia (i used to judged them)
mmg menjaga baby ni satu pekerjaan yg sgt2 mencabar. silap2 boleh jadi giler... insyallah aku masih waras by the time anak aku 7-8 mths
hopefully by then dia nyer schedule dah ok.
kalau still tak tido malam. aku rasa aku bole pengsan kat office.
not that i have many work to do... still, i have to read a lot. reading makes me very very sleepy.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
i dont know that breastfeeding is a very hard work
all the books i read, it seems that it is the most natural and easy thing to do
if i dont breast feed the baby, my breast will engorge, believe me, it can be soooo bigg... i'm wearing bra with cup C at least. and it will hurt like crazy.
but then if u feed the baby too frequently, ur nipple might be sore, craked, and even bleed.
when it is sore, it is also painful when the baby suck. at least until he taste the milk and starts sucking
there are times when i think i just want to give up breast feeding and give formula.
that will make my life much much easier.
but then, i want to loose weight fast. it was claimed for every feed, u'll use up lots (dont know exactly how much) of claories.
and it is claimed that breast milk is the best for baby and i want to give the best all the time.
my husband is bottle fed since he is infant and he catches cold so easily. i dont want that to happen to my child. so, as my colleague said, when breast feeding, we must persevere. now i understand what she means....
she never really tells me that it is difficult. like always, i bet different people experience different things. my mom said my sister's dont experience any sore/cracked nipple when she was breast feeding
i read somewhere that the soreness and engorgement will last for a couple of days coz the nipple is adjusting to the new activity. so... i'm really hoping it will come true. and i hope i dont have to top up my child breast milk with formula. sometimes when he is too hungry, he gets very angry and will not suck my breast anymore. and this is very frustrating.
i'm sleepy but i'm still waiting my son to wake up so that i can feed him.
all the books i read, it seems that it is the most natural and easy thing to do
if i dont breast feed the baby, my breast will engorge, believe me, it can be soooo bigg... i'm wearing bra with cup C at least. and it will hurt like crazy.
but then if u feed the baby too frequently, ur nipple might be sore, craked, and even bleed.
when it is sore, it is also painful when the baby suck. at least until he taste the milk and starts sucking
there are times when i think i just want to give up breast feeding and give formula.
that will make my life much much easier.
but then, i want to loose weight fast. it was claimed for every feed, u'll use up lots (dont know exactly how much) of claories.
and it is claimed that breast milk is the best for baby and i want to give the best all the time.
my husband is bottle fed since he is infant and he catches cold so easily. i dont want that to happen to my child. so, as my colleague said, when breast feeding, we must persevere. now i understand what she means....
she never really tells me that it is difficult. like always, i bet different people experience different things. my mom said my sister's dont experience any sore/cracked nipple when she was breast feeding
i read somewhere that the soreness and engorgement will last for a couple of days coz the nipple is adjusting to the new activity. so... i'm really hoping it will come true. and i hope i dont have to top up my child breast milk with formula. sometimes when he is too hungry, he gets very angry and will not suck my breast anymore. and this is very frustrating.
i'm sleepy but i'm still waiting my son to wake up so that i can feed him.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
today is my 8th day as a mom
everyday is a new experience to me
all i do is feed the baby, pump my breast (the one cracked and need healing), change the baby, and try to get some rest before doing it all over again in the next few hours
newborn needs to feed so frequently... it's very tiring
for nine months, aku dah went through lots of changes to my body and mental. for me pregnancy is not as easy as some people. first three months, puking none stop. 2nd three months, getting use to bulging stomach and third three months hot flashes.. believe me... sometimes i think the heat can kill me.. not to mention how mentally demanding i was. i craved attention like crazy. it's a wonder matde didnt go crazy over it. i think one of the reason he likes me is because i am not clingy. anyways, i'm glad both of us finally got through it.
then the delivery. i was admited on 7th pm. induced on 8th am. could sleep the whole night even though matde was there. by 6.30 am i was induced. anxiously waiting for the pain to come. it came very slowly... around 11 am... then it started to get worst by evening... by around 5 pm, dilated only 2cm.. so.. wait some more... by 7 pm i was sent to labor room. 8-9 pm, i was so tired... and in great pain(at that time)... asked for epidural. doctor warned me that when she break the waterbag, it will be painful. i got contraction when doctor tried to put in the needle, after 4 tries, my lower half is numb. doc gave me another 4 hours to get 7 cm dilation. thanks to epidural, got some rest. by 2.30... i'm dilated 5 cm only. have to wait some more. by 3 am... the pain really kicks in. it is as if i wasnt on epidural... luckily matde went in to see me. i asked him to accompany me. the pain was too great for me at that time that i cried. mengucap semua... alhamdullilah by 4 am dilated 9 cm. aku push sekuat hati... all i want is for the baby to come out as fast as possible... 4-5 pushes... baby pun kuar... aku rasa kalau tak dilated jugak, mmg kena ceaserean. nasib baik tak perlu. otherwise, all those contraction pains is all for nothing. different people have different pain threshold. mine is very low. sakit perut biasa2 pun aku bising. ni kan pula sakit bersalin. lagila aku bising.
aku bersyukur aku berjaya melalui semua ni. even though aku dah 27 tahun, i still feel i am not ready to become a mother. but if u really think about it. u will never be ready for something like this. and everyone (at least matde's side) is so excited about the baby. so.. i guess we did the right thing.
have to think positively, always say good things about the child. maklumla, kata2 ibu ni mcm doa. kita takleh nak ckp sembarangan. insyallah anak aku akan jadi anak yg soleh, berjaya idup dunia dan akhirat, doakan ibu bapa dia bila dah takder nanti. aminnnnnnn
everyday is a new experience to me
all i do is feed the baby, pump my breast (the one cracked and need healing), change the baby, and try to get some rest before doing it all over again in the next few hours
newborn needs to feed so frequently... it's very tiring
for nine months, aku dah went through lots of changes to my body and mental. for me pregnancy is not as easy as some people. first three months, puking none stop. 2nd three months, getting use to bulging stomach and third three months hot flashes.. believe me... sometimes i think the heat can kill me.. not to mention how mentally demanding i was. i craved attention like crazy. it's a wonder matde didnt go crazy over it. i think one of the reason he likes me is because i am not clingy. anyways, i'm glad both of us finally got through it.
then the delivery. i was admited on 7th pm. induced on 8th am. could sleep the whole night even though matde was there. by 6.30 am i was induced. anxiously waiting for the pain to come. it came very slowly... around 11 am... then it started to get worst by evening... by around 5 pm, dilated only 2cm.. so.. wait some more... by 7 pm i was sent to labor room. 8-9 pm, i was so tired... and in great pain(at that time)... asked for epidural. doctor warned me that when she break the waterbag, it will be painful. i got contraction when doctor tried to put in the needle, after 4 tries, my lower half is numb. doc gave me another 4 hours to get 7 cm dilation. thanks to epidural, got some rest. by 2.30... i'm dilated 5 cm only. have to wait some more. by 3 am... the pain really kicks in. it is as if i wasnt on epidural... luckily matde went in to see me. i asked him to accompany me. the pain was too great for me at that time that i cried. mengucap semua... alhamdullilah by 4 am dilated 9 cm. aku push sekuat hati... all i want is for the baby to come out as fast as possible... 4-5 pushes... baby pun kuar... aku rasa kalau tak dilated jugak, mmg kena ceaserean. nasib baik tak perlu. otherwise, all those contraction pains is all for nothing. different people have different pain threshold. mine is very low. sakit perut biasa2 pun aku bising. ni kan pula sakit bersalin. lagila aku bising.
aku bersyukur aku berjaya melalui semua ni. even though aku dah 27 tahun, i still feel i am not ready to become a mother. but if u really think about it. u will never be ready for something like this. and everyone (at least matde's side) is so excited about the baby. so.. i guess we did the right thing.
have to think positively, always say good things about the child. maklumla, kata2 ibu ni mcm doa. kita takleh nak ckp sembarangan. insyallah anak aku akan jadi anak yg soleh, berjaya idup dunia dan akhirat, doakan ibu bapa dia bila dah takder nanti. aminnnnnnn
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
another antenatal check-up today
so, spending a couple of hours in starbucks
have been following the crude prices.. even though out of the office
looks like it's going to touch USD100 soon
when that happen, i'm pretty damned sure that gas price will increase by next year.
at least after election. dalam newspaper pun dah start talking how much the government is spending for subsidy alone this year.
that is one indication that it is very very likely gas price will increase
by how much? i have no idea
it's crazy really.... people are speculating crude prices. and because of this, the price increase and everything else increases. rich people get richer and poor people get poorer.
gaji naik byk mana pun takkan cukup.
duit duit di mana ko duit?
i am not a big spender. i rarely buy cloth or anything. but still i just have enough
cannot imagine how those people that need to buy branded, expensive clothes all the time to feel good about themselves survive.
either they stop eating all together or live on credit cards. which is very2 damaging.
aku bersyukur aku dapat settlekan credit card bill on time.
else.... mmg takkan berjaya settlekan sampai bila2
anyways, back to crude price... last few months i attended this technical analysis class. the lecturer commented that price will be around USD65. after that class, i've been waiting patiently for it to happen.
but never happened... it went up and up and up..... so, even though he has been doing it forever and most likely able to predict simply by looking at graph... u never know of what the future will be. so.. i dont think i'll be going to his class again. coz he is just everyone here... speculating.
sometimes he gets it right, and sometimes he gets it wrong
it's a circle of life.
i want to read new book, what do u recommend?
so, spending a couple of hours in starbucks
have been following the crude prices.. even though out of the office
looks like it's going to touch USD100 soon
when that happen, i'm pretty damned sure that gas price will increase by next year.
at least after election. dalam newspaper pun dah start talking how much the government is spending for subsidy alone this year.
that is one indication that it is very very likely gas price will increase
by how much? i have no idea
it's crazy really.... people are speculating crude prices. and because of this, the price increase and everything else increases. rich people get richer and poor people get poorer.
gaji naik byk mana pun takkan cukup.
duit duit di mana ko duit?
i am not a big spender. i rarely buy cloth or anything. but still i just have enough
cannot imagine how those people that need to buy branded, expensive clothes all the time to feel good about themselves survive.
either they stop eating all together or live on credit cards. which is very2 damaging.
aku bersyukur aku dapat settlekan credit card bill on time.
else.... mmg takkan berjaya settlekan sampai bila2
anyways, back to crude price... last few months i attended this technical analysis class. the lecturer commented that price will be around USD65. after that class, i've been waiting patiently for it to happen.
but never happened... it went up and up and up..... so, even though he has been doing it forever and most likely able to predict simply by looking at graph... u never know of what the future will be. so.. i dont think i'll be going to his class again. coz he is just everyone here... speculating.
sometimes he gets it right, and sometimes he gets it wrong
it's a circle of life.
i want to read new book, what do u recommend?
Saturday, November 03, 2007
i had some discussion with my hubby last nite
we were talking about if we only have 2 kids, what happen if one of the kids gone bad, or decided to move to another country or whatever la...
he said something that is very practical that the practical me never think of before.
we as parents must always remember that we dont own the kids. like it or not, they will always have their own mind. and most likely will do whatever they like.
we are responsible to guide them, give them security, try our best to give the best in the world. if somehow, they still screw up, then we need to learn to let go and just let life take it course. human are shaped by their surroundings. there are 1001 influence that can get to them. we can only protect them so much.
somehow these thoughts give me a little peace of mind... takla aku cuak sgt. i watched this one movie... one mother said that mother's love is an impossible love. she will do everything in her power to protect her kids even if the kids hate it sooo much. which i think is sooo true. i wish i wont held my children hostage just for carrying them in my womb for 9 months. they wont remember it and they wont know unless they experience it themselve. like i am now. only now i can emphatize with all mothers and appreciate how difficult it is to be pregnant.
i think if i want, i can write down endless list of complaints in these past 9 months. there were also times when i broke down in tears because i thought i cannot go through this anymore... when it becomes too painful and all... but as always, live have to move on. coz i'm sure there are people out there that has it much worst than me.
right now, aku berdoa aku akan melahirkan a healthy, smart child, takder cacat cela.... sihat tubuh badan, sempurna akal fikiran.... amin......
we were talking about if we only have 2 kids, what happen if one of the kids gone bad, or decided to move to another country or whatever la...
he said something that is very practical that the practical me never think of before.
we as parents must always remember that we dont own the kids. like it or not, they will always have their own mind. and most likely will do whatever they like.
we are responsible to guide them, give them security, try our best to give the best in the world. if somehow, they still screw up, then we need to learn to let go and just let life take it course. human are shaped by their surroundings. there are 1001 influence that can get to them. we can only protect them so much.
somehow these thoughts give me a little peace of mind... takla aku cuak sgt. i watched this one movie... one mother said that mother's love is an impossible love. she will do everything in her power to protect her kids even if the kids hate it sooo much. which i think is sooo true. i wish i wont held my children hostage just for carrying them in my womb for 9 months. they wont remember it and they wont know unless they experience it themselve. like i am now. only now i can emphatize with all mothers and appreciate how difficult it is to be pregnant.
i think if i want, i can write down endless list of complaints in these past 9 months. there were also times when i broke down in tears because i thought i cannot go through this anymore... when it becomes too painful and all... but as always, live have to move on. coz i'm sure there are people out there that has it much worst than me.
right now, aku berdoa aku akan melahirkan a healthy, smart child, takder cacat cela.... sihat tubuh badan, sempurna akal fikiran.... amin......
Friday, November 02, 2007
skrg ni aku mcm berminat tgk drama melayu... mcm citer jelatang (tuesday night) and also SpaQ (mon-tue 6.30-7.30). macam makin menarik issue2 dia. or maybe i just lovvveee drama. ikut peredaran umur kot. masa teenagers, suka tgk beverly hills 90120 (drama gak tu), all those funny series, actually still like till now. skrg ni dah masuk fasa drama2 melayu
to tell the truth, i dont think it's too bad. ada storyline, ada conflicts and takla pasal cinta 2 org jer..
today dah masuk 10 hari aku amik MC, menuggu hari nak bersalin. sebelum amik MC lagi aku dah agak, sure akan bosan nak mampos nyer... tapi suma org kat opis dah suruh aku amik cuti. aku jalan pun mcm tak larat. pelik aku, baby tu... makin lama makin berat lak. aku rasa kalau ikutkan, masih ada can nak jadi 4 kg by the time aku deliver. scary nyer... 2 of my sisters pun besar2 gak baby diorg. but i am not as tall as them. hopefully bole la deliver ngan selamatnyer. anyways, my hubby is still a student and tak dpt nak hantar aku gi kerja sbb dia blaja kat bangi and aku kat KL. just imagine kalau aku sakit time tgh kat jln tun razak yg jem nak mampus tu. plus jln dia agak berbukit. dahla keta bukan auto. aku taknak naik keta org lain. always bad luck. so, boring tak boring, terpaksala aku duk diam2 kat rumah and tunggu and tungguu......
dalam masa 2 minggu ni dah 2 buku and one reader's digest from cover to cover. selalunyer only one book per month. itupun kalau aku baca hari2. sepatutnyer aku lebihkan baca quran kan?
ish, apala aku ni... patutnyer banyakkan ibadah... doa... so that anak aku ni akan jadi anak yg soleh dan berjaya dalam hidup. to at least inherit some of the best qualities aku and matde. coz me and matde are truly 2 different people. kalau suma macam matde, susah gak... kalau suma macam aku, pun takleh gak. pening kepala aku nak control dia krg.
oraitla... nak browse2 nama baby lak. havent got a clue what to name my child.
to tell the truth, i dont think it's too bad. ada storyline, ada conflicts and takla pasal cinta 2 org jer..
today dah masuk 10 hari aku amik MC, menuggu hari nak bersalin. sebelum amik MC lagi aku dah agak, sure akan bosan nak mampos nyer... tapi suma org kat opis dah suruh aku amik cuti. aku jalan pun mcm tak larat. pelik aku, baby tu... makin lama makin berat lak. aku rasa kalau ikutkan, masih ada can nak jadi 4 kg by the time aku deliver. scary nyer... 2 of my sisters pun besar2 gak baby diorg. but i am not as tall as them. hopefully bole la deliver ngan selamatnyer. anyways, my hubby is still a student and tak dpt nak hantar aku gi kerja sbb dia blaja kat bangi and aku kat KL. just imagine kalau aku sakit time tgh kat jln tun razak yg jem nak mampus tu. plus jln dia agak berbukit. dahla keta bukan auto. aku taknak naik keta org lain. always bad luck. so, boring tak boring, terpaksala aku duk diam2 kat rumah and tunggu and tungguu......
dalam masa 2 minggu ni dah 2 buku and one reader's digest from cover to cover. selalunyer only one book per month. itupun kalau aku baca hari2. sepatutnyer aku lebihkan baca quran kan?
ish, apala aku ni... patutnyer banyakkan ibadah... doa... so that anak aku ni akan jadi anak yg soleh dan berjaya dalam hidup. to at least inherit some of the best qualities aku and matde. coz me and matde are truly 2 different people. kalau suma macam matde, susah gak... kalau suma macam aku, pun takleh gak. pening kepala aku nak control dia krg.
oraitla... nak browse2 nama baby lak. havent got a clue what to name my child.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
it's 8.15 and i'm still in the office
i also not sure why i am soooo rajin
maybe because i only work in the evening and my mind is just starting to work
actually my hubby is not at home yet
and i forgot to take the key
it's so difficult for me to get a good sleeping position now that my stomach is bulging.
i dont really get good night sleep
so.. i tend to have a very bad mood in the morning
and now my baby is kicking like crazy
soon he wont have any room to move around
i know i need to get food very soon
maybe he is getting hungry
so scary to think that i will be a mom very soon
currently i'm reading Haruka Murami Short stories
it's a very interesting book. each story is very different and unique.
japanase people have very creative mind
or maybe they are such focus people and make sure that when they do something
they will do it excellently
i also not sure why i am soooo rajin
maybe because i only work in the evening and my mind is just starting to work
actually my hubby is not at home yet
and i forgot to take the key
it's so difficult for me to get a good sleeping position now that my stomach is bulging.
i dont really get good night sleep
so.. i tend to have a very bad mood in the morning
and now my baby is kicking like crazy
soon he wont have any room to move around
i know i need to get food very soon
maybe he is getting hungry
so scary to think that i will be a mom very soon
currently i'm reading Haruka Murami Short stories
it's a very interesting book. each story is very different and unique.
japanase people have very creative mind
or maybe they are such focus people and make sure that when they do something
they will do it excellently
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
getting sick when u are pregnant is very very tough.
in normal circumstances, i will get well in 3 days, 2 days with medicine.. today is the fourth day i am taking my med and it is almost finished but i am still not feeling well.
so, next time when u are pregnant, make sure u dont fall sick. everything aches.
luckily i went for a massage on saturday. the "tukang urut" betulkan my baby position and it does not feel so heavy now. i can walk without feeling the need to support my stomach anymore.
if u somehow think u need your hubby's attention... tell him so. dont ever think they can read between the lines. men are not designed to understand subtlety... unless he is super sensitive. and when can u meet this kind of men right? maybe never. even if i found one. i wont want to marry him. i should be the one who needs the attention 24-7 and not him. hehe..
in normal circumstances, i will get well in 3 days, 2 days with medicine.. today is the fourth day i am taking my med and it is almost finished but i am still not feeling well.
so, next time when u are pregnant, make sure u dont fall sick. everything aches.
luckily i went for a massage on saturday. the "tukang urut" betulkan my baby position and it does not feel so heavy now. i can walk without feeling the need to support my stomach anymore.
if u somehow think u need your hubby's attention... tell him so. dont ever think they can read between the lines. men are not designed to understand subtlety... unless he is super sensitive. and when can u meet this kind of men right? maybe never. even if i found one. i wont want to marry him. i should be the one who needs the attention 24-7 and not him. hehe..
Friday, August 03, 2007
haha... second entry in a day
promised my husband to call him about an hour ago. but my roomie is still on the phone and i dont feel like calling him while she's on the phone.
have u guys read the last Harry Potter book?
i found it soooo very interesting
not wasting time on silly2 things. JK Rowling is truly a genius. any person that has that high imagination is truly genius.
this year two book series that i have been reading will end. one is harry potter and another one is Sword of the truth... that one will come out in November.
after that... what to read aaa?
tak best la ini macam
had french food just now. 8 courses... 3 hours to finish all the courses.. the portion is very small but since it is over 3 hours, the brains gave signal that the stomach is already full
so, the theory that u should eat very little and wait for awhile is true. u shouldnt eat too much at one time. luckily this particular customer is very friendly and not at all boring, 3 hours is not as tiring... tomorrow i will have a lonnnngggg dayyy.... will be on duty from 7-11pm. need to fully utilize my social intelligence skill.
social intelligence skill class is soooo boring... i really hope i dont have to attend anymore.
everything is sooo civilized and what considered civilized normally based on english culture....
i have nothing against english culture... really... but i still prefer to talk to asian than mat saleh... dont know why... maybe because i am also an asian? hehe
okla.. time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
promised my husband to call him about an hour ago. but my roomie is still on the phone and i dont feel like calling him while she's on the phone.
have u guys read the last Harry Potter book?
i found it soooo very interesting
not wasting time on silly2 things. JK Rowling is truly a genius. any person that has that high imagination is truly genius.
this year two book series that i have been reading will end. one is harry potter and another one is Sword of the truth... that one will come out in November.
after that... what to read aaa?
tak best la ini macam
had french food just now. 8 courses... 3 hours to finish all the courses.. the portion is very small but since it is over 3 hours, the brains gave signal that the stomach is already full
so, the theory that u should eat very little and wait for awhile is true. u shouldnt eat too much at one time. luckily this particular customer is very friendly and not at all boring, 3 hours is not as tiring... tomorrow i will have a lonnnngggg dayyy.... will be on duty from 7-11pm. need to fully utilize my social intelligence skill.
social intelligence skill class is soooo boring... i really hope i dont have to attend anymore.
everything is sooo civilized and what considered civilized normally based on english culture....
i have nothing against english culture... really... but i still prefer to talk to asian than mat saleh... dont know why... maybe because i am also an asian? hehe
okla.. time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thursday, August 02, 2007
i'm in singapore again........
for the last time before giving birth
since i'm quite heavy, i take it very slowly.....few meetings a day. takyah sesak2 nafas.
actually baru ada sdua meeting since i arrived yesterday.
and dua2 breezy jer
ohhh... forgot nak close one deal. need to make the call soon.
sometimes i just want to lie down... okla.. i lied.. i want to lie everyday
heard that one of my business associate passed away yesterday after playing badminton
it is such a shock i couldnt sleep
i started to hear people drop dead for no reason lately
this is sooo scary. looking at my own ibadah. not doing it enough. i'm still struggling to pray 5 times a day
dont know what happen to me. why is it so easy for someone but so damn hard for me.
even if i dont have anything to do... i was just soooo lazy. lazy to do anything.
lately i have successfully psycho myself to go to work. u see, i got their scholarship, so this is just like paying a debt. so... it boosted my morale a little bit. enough for now. got one more meeting. have to put my smiling face and be very very friendly for about 2-3 hours.
for the last time before giving birth
since i'm quite heavy, i take it very slowly.....few meetings a day. takyah sesak2 nafas.
actually baru ada sdua meeting since i arrived yesterday.
and dua2 breezy jer
ohhh... forgot nak close one deal. need to make the call soon.
sometimes i just want to lie down... okla.. i lied.. i want to lie everyday
heard that one of my business associate passed away yesterday after playing badminton
it is such a shock i couldnt sleep
i started to hear people drop dead for no reason lately
this is sooo scary. looking at my own ibadah. not doing it enough. i'm still struggling to pray 5 times a day
dont know what happen to me. why is it so easy for someone but so damn hard for me.
even if i dont have anything to do... i was just soooo lazy. lazy to do anything.
lately i have successfully psycho myself to go to work. u see, i got their scholarship, so this is just like paying a debt. so... it boosted my morale a little bit. enough for now. got one more meeting. have to put my smiling face and be very very friendly for about 2-3 hours.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Honeymoon turned out great.
i was initially skeptical on the trip. for the obvious reason... i will be going to a much lesser luxury hotels.. you see.. i am sooo use to 5 star hotels. and i thought i wont enjoy the beach. but i did... it was soo much fun. i am not fit.. so, we only walked for about 4-5 hours before i beg matde to bring me home. but in overall i hadd FUN. looking forward for my next trip.
i was initially skeptical on the trip. for the obvious reason... i will be going to a much lesser luxury hotels.. you see.. i am sooo use to 5 star hotels. and i thought i wont enjoy the beach. but i did... it was soo much fun. i am not fit.. so, we only walked for about 4-5 hours before i beg matde to bring me home. but in overall i hadd FUN. looking forward for my next trip.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
i am finally going to my honeymoon...
this would be the first time i go anyway with hubby and could be the last one for a very long time
maybe the next one after my baby at least 1 years old
malas la nak jalan2 ngan baby ni. leceh
i could not imagine anyone going through pregnancy without the support of her hubby. expecting mothers gone through extreme changes mentally and physically
they become cranky... tired, body ache all the times... it's such a new experience.
i have about 4 months to go and have started counting the days
cannot have bad thoughts, bad mouths or bad anything.
ermm.. so tired right now
but really wanted to share something..
this would be the first time i go anyway with hubby and could be the last one for a very long time
maybe the next one after my baby at least 1 years old
malas la nak jalan2 ngan baby ni. leceh
i could not imagine anyone going through pregnancy without the support of her hubby. expecting mothers gone through extreme changes mentally and physically
they become cranky... tired, body ache all the times... it's such a new experience.
i have about 4 months to go and have started counting the days
cannot have bad thoughts, bad mouths or bad anything.
ermm.. so tired right now
but really wanted to share something..
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
i'm blogging on a daily basis now.. hehe
this is mainly because i recently (last thursday) got a laptop and a constant internet connection.
cannot blogging in the office even though i have tremendous of free time (bossless since 1st June) coz my place is right in front of the office entrance and everyone can see me.
i think for now, i want to start blogging again to improve my writing.
well.. there's nothing really good about my writing but at least i can try to get my ideas out.
and the speaking part, it has become so manglish that it makes it sooo difficult to get words out
godd... i really need to be surrounded by english speaking people again (i.e US)
and i do need to start to find other things to talk about except matde.
he is my husband now and a very good one.
nothing much to blame on him.
i really hope my child will be like him, easy to handle
but on managing finance will follow my lead..
well.. maybe on certain things.. coz when i really want something, i dont care how much i spent as long as i get it but only if i can afford it
i really need to start excersizing... i am currently 57kg.. that is so damn heavy.
i'm afraid i can shed it off later
maybe later i'll do some shopping around orchard road. it hurts to walk or sit down more than 1 hour now
i must start swimming again. swimmm... swimmm away. tapi goggle lak tak bawak. see, there is always reasons for me for not swimming. the truth is, i am damn lazy.
maybe next time i will start writing something more useful.
something philosophical... people said it's good for the baby's development if i think a lot and try to be as cheerful as possible.
cheerful is good.
this is mainly because i recently (last thursday) got a laptop and a constant internet connection.
cannot blogging in the office even though i have tremendous of free time (bossless since 1st June) coz my place is right in front of the office entrance and everyone can see me.
i think for now, i want to start blogging again to improve my writing.
well.. there's nothing really good about my writing but at least i can try to get my ideas out.
and the speaking part, it has become so manglish that it makes it sooo difficult to get words out
godd... i really need to be surrounded by english speaking people again (i.e US)
and i do need to start to find other things to talk about except matde.
he is my husband now and a very good one.
nothing much to blame on him.
i really hope my child will be like him, easy to handle
but on managing finance will follow my lead..
well.. maybe on certain things.. coz when i really want something, i dont care how much i spent as long as i get it but only if i can afford it
i really need to start excersizing... i am currently 57kg.. that is so damn heavy.
i'm afraid i can shed it off later
maybe later i'll do some shopping around orchard road. it hurts to walk or sit down more than 1 hour now
i must start swimming again. swimmm... swimmm away. tapi goggle lak tak bawak. see, there is always reasons for me for not swimming. the truth is, i am damn lazy.
maybe next time i will start writing something more useful.
something philosophical... people said it's good for the baby's development if i think a lot and try to be as cheerful as possible.
cheerful is good.
Monday, June 18, 2007
hari ni aku kat singapore.
still rasa tak best cam biasa
aku pun pelik kenapa
lately... actually for the past couple of months aku cam rasa tak best jer
not sure why
last time because i thought i need a change in my career
i did change it
then, i thought because my life too mundane
but i'm expecting... so, what could cause the feeling of unworthiness?
maybe because aku tak jaga sgt solat
rasa hati kurang tenang
mungkin... should try to pray 5x a day... but i dont know why it is soooo difficult
ada jer yg tertinggal.
this is seriously not good
maybe i also should do like masa aku kat high school.
hati sgt tenang even though aku selalunyer x excel in school
since high school i have this notion that u dont have to be the best at what u do
just make sure u finish it...see it through the end
give ur best effort and in the end bertawakal..
and everthing else insyallah will be fine... betul tak HUBBY? hehehe...
AKU KELAPARAN......
still rasa tak best cam biasa
aku pun pelik kenapa
lately... actually for the past couple of months aku cam rasa tak best jer
not sure why
last time because i thought i need a change in my career
i did change it
then, i thought because my life too mundane
but i'm expecting... so, what could cause the feeling of unworthiness?
maybe because aku tak jaga sgt solat
rasa hati kurang tenang
mungkin... should try to pray 5x a day... but i dont know why it is soooo difficult
ada jer yg tertinggal.
this is seriously not good
maybe i also should do like masa aku kat high school.
hati sgt tenang even though aku selalunyer x excel in school
since high school i have this notion that u dont have to be the best at what u do
just make sure u finish it...see it through the end
give ur best effort and in the end bertawakal..
and everthing else insyallah will be fine... betul tak HUBBY? hehehe...
AKU KELAPARAN......
Friday, June 15, 2007
skrg ni aku dah 4 bulan pregnant and my stomach is getting bigger by the day. mmg suma org dah notice. tak kirala berapa besar baju aku pakai.
alhamdullilah, i am feeling better now... more accepting of this motherhood thingy. maybe sbb dapt positive respond dari kawan2 and colleague. apparently, there are quite a number of people in my office yg having difficult time conceiving. so, i guess, it's ok to get pregnant now then having problems later. i guess different people got diff problem.
like me, no problem conceiving but financially not too strong. mcm org lain, duit ada tapi susah lak nak dpt baby...so, i shouldnt really complaining
awal2 dulu mmg byk giler complaint coz my body is adjusting. but now i'm feeling much better. even aku nyer appetite pun dah cam normal balik. takderla kena ada food every 2 hours and dont puke that much too.
trasa mcm best pulak tgk baju2 pregnant. maybe sbb dah lama tak beli baju. aku jenis takkan shop without reason and dah lama aku rasa cam takder sbb utk shopping
since skrg ni mmg perlu.... mcm2 aku beli. bila membeli tu, bukannyer kisah sgt how much i spend. it feels like masa aku mula2 turun berat bdn ngan drasticnyer kat US. in one day i spent USD300 and it feels so good to spend money for myself.
alamak, laki aku dah bising. kitorg tgh plan pasal honeymoon ni. kalau tak gi skrg, mmg takkan gi... so, calos...
some of the clothes, i still wear till now.
bila baby dah kuar nanti, sure lagi byk aku shop.. excited nyer... hehe..
alhamdullilah, i am feeling better now... more accepting of this motherhood thingy. maybe sbb dapt positive respond dari kawan2 and colleague. apparently, there are quite a number of people in my office yg having difficult time conceiving. so, i guess, it's ok to get pregnant now then having problems later. i guess different people got diff problem.
like me, no problem conceiving but financially not too strong. mcm org lain, duit ada tapi susah lak nak dpt baby...so, i shouldnt really complaining
awal2 dulu mmg byk giler complaint coz my body is adjusting. but now i'm feeling much better. even aku nyer appetite pun dah cam normal balik. takderla kena ada food every 2 hours and dont puke that much too.
trasa mcm best pulak tgk baju2 pregnant. maybe sbb dah lama tak beli baju. aku jenis takkan shop without reason and dah lama aku rasa cam takder sbb utk shopping
since skrg ni mmg perlu.... mcm2 aku beli. bila membeli tu, bukannyer kisah sgt how much i spend. it feels like masa aku mula2 turun berat bdn ngan drasticnyer kat US. in one day i spent USD300 and it feels so good to spend money for myself.
alamak, laki aku dah bising. kitorg tgh plan pasal honeymoon ni. kalau tak gi skrg, mmg takkan gi... so, calos...
some of the clothes, i still wear till now.
bila baby dah kuar nanti, sure lagi byk aku shop.. excited nyer... hehe..
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
sudah 3 bulan jugak aku tak update blog. since 8th march, aku dah nikah, mengandung and also bersanding cuma majlis bertandang ke rumah mentua jer belum lagi.
mula2 mmg agak sukar nak trima hakikat yg aku akan jadi mak. tapi sikit2 dah bole trima. lagipun umur dah 27. if not now, when right? so, i guess i just make the best of it. getting pregnant is not an easy thing. aku rasa org yg mengandung jer paham camner perasaan mengandung. karang panjang pulak complaint aku kat sini :) i hope my pregnancy and delivery will be ok. insyallah lepas raya nanti bersalin.
majlis sanding pun dah selesai. alhamdullilah... baju yg aku buat fitting 2 minggu sudah masih muat. dalam 1 bulan jer aku nyer berat naik 3 kg. badan time tu macam di pam2. semua benda nak makan and i eat every 2-3 hours. kalau tak, sure muntah... ok, i better stop there... and nasib baik mak aku stuju ngan color yg aku pilih. dia nak tema gold sbnrnya. tapi in the end jadi tema colorfull like always....
mula2 mmg agak sukar nak trima hakikat yg aku akan jadi mak. tapi sikit2 dah bole trima. lagipun umur dah 27. if not now, when right? so, i guess i just make the best of it. getting pregnant is not an easy thing. aku rasa org yg mengandung jer paham camner perasaan mengandung. karang panjang pulak complaint aku kat sini :) i hope my pregnancy and delivery will be ok. insyallah lepas raya nanti bersalin.
majlis sanding pun dah selesai. alhamdullilah... baju yg aku buat fitting 2 minggu sudah masih muat. dalam 1 bulan jer aku nyer berat naik 3 kg. badan time tu macam di pam2. semua benda nak makan and i eat every 2-3 hours. kalau tak, sure muntah... ok, i better stop there... and nasib baik mak aku stuju ngan color yg aku pilih. dia nak tema gold sbnrnya. tapi in the end jadi tema colorfull like always....
Friday, March 02, 2007
kehidupan selepas berkahwin...
so far so good
every couple akan bergaduh sooner or later
i notice that cara bergaduh and cara nak baik balik berubah over time after dah together for this long
dulu masa sblm kahwin/tunang, we fought about the smallest things
then masa tunang, we fought about a little bigger things
and now bila dah kawin, we fought for much bigger things and for a shorter period of time
maklumla, dah berkongsi hidup..
one way or the other you definitely will get annoyed
the most important thing is for the husband to try and understand the wife and vice versa
but i would prefer if the husband the one doing all the understanding
i read one article yesterday.. dia cakap, most of the time, it is much much easier to be mean and evil but it takes so much effort to be a nice person.
i just hope i can be a better person for my family and husband
sometimes i am so emotional that i cannot think straight
or get so upset about something and cannot really explain why
that really driving me crazy
so far so good
every couple akan bergaduh sooner or later
i notice that cara bergaduh and cara nak baik balik berubah over time after dah together for this long
dulu masa sblm kahwin/tunang, we fought about the smallest things
then masa tunang, we fought about a little bigger things
and now bila dah kawin, we fought for much bigger things and for a shorter period of time
maklumla, dah berkongsi hidup..
one way or the other you definitely will get annoyed
the most important thing is for the husband to try and understand the wife and vice versa
but i would prefer if the husband the one doing all the understanding
i read one article yesterday.. dia cakap, most of the time, it is much much easier to be mean and evil but it takes so much effort to be a nice person.
i just hope i can be a better person for my family and husband
sometimes i am so emotional that i cannot think straight
or get so upset about something and cannot really explain why
that really driving me crazy
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
hehe....
aku nak kawin dah weekend ni..
kali ni mcm improve skit la..
preparation in 3 weeks. tunang dulu 1 minggu jer
ada la jugak rasa cam nak demam masa kemas rumah tu
dahla kakak aku baru bersalin. nama anak dia Nurkhairunnisa Mardiah
mak aku pun cam dah naik demam. siannn dia terpaksa melayan karenah anak dia yg sorg ni. dah la tak reti2 nak plan awal2.
1 week matde settle kan dia nyer application
1 day aku settlekan aku nyer application
1.5 weeks kemas rumah+beli hantaran+gubah hantaran
hantaran aku tu mmg kelakar skit la sbb aku fail bab2 color coordination ni
so, mcm2 color ada. gold, merah, kuning, ijau, biru... so, tema dia, colorful.
yg matde nyer aku ada ternampak ari tu... ungu suma..baju kitorg warna ungu.
benda2 yg aku kena buat lepas ni:
1. xleh kutuk matde kat sini-kena beli diary
2. kena balik kelantan time raya-sucks
3. kena tinggal ngan famili dia-still trying to get use to the idea
wish me luckkkk
aku nak kawin dah weekend ni..
kali ni mcm improve skit la..
preparation in 3 weeks. tunang dulu 1 minggu jer
ada la jugak rasa cam nak demam masa kemas rumah tu
dahla kakak aku baru bersalin. nama anak dia Nurkhairunnisa Mardiah
mak aku pun cam dah naik demam. siannn dia terpaksa melayan karenah anak dia yg sorg ni. dah la tak reti2 nak plan awal2.
1 week matde settle kan dia nyer application
1 day aku settlekan aku nyer application
1.5 weeks kemas rumah+beli hantaran+gubah hantaran
hantaran aku tu mmg kelakar skit la sbb aku fail bab2 color coordination ni
so, mcm2 color ada. gold, merah, kuning, ijau, biru... so, tema dia, colorful.
yg matde nyer aku ada ternampak ari tu... ungu suma..baju kitorg warna ungu.
benda2 yg aku kena buat lepas ni:
1. xleh kutuk matde kat sini-kena beli diary
2. kena balik kelantan time raya-sucks
3. kena tinggal ngan famili dia-still trying to get use to the idea
wish me luckkkk
hehe....
aku nak kawin dah weekend ni..
kali ni mcm improve skit la..
preparation in 3 weeks. tunang dulu 1 minggu jer
ada la jugak rasa cam nak demam masa kemas rumah tu
dahla kakak aku baru bersalin. nama anak dia Nurkhairunnisa Mardiah
mak aku pun cam dah naik demam. siannn dia terpaksa melayan karenah anak dia yg sorg ni. dah la tak reti2 nak plan awal2.
1 week matde settle kan dia nyer application
1 day aku settlekan aku nyer application
1.5 weeks kemas rumah+beli hantaran+gubah hantaran
hantaran aku tu mmg kelakar skit la sbb aku fail bab2 color coordination ni
so, mcm2 color ada. gold, merah, kuning, ijau, biru... so, tema dia, colorful.
yg matde nyer aku ada ternampak ari tu... ungu suma..baju kitorg warna ungu.
benda2 yg aku kena buat lepas ni:
1. xleh kutuk matde kat sini-kena beli diary
2. kena balik kelantan time raya-sucks
3. kena tinggal ngan famili dia-still trying to get use to the idea
wish me luckkkk
aku nak kawin dah weekend ni..
kali ni mcm improve skit la..
preparation in 3 weeks. tunang dulu 1 minggu jer
ada la jugak rasa cam nak demam masa kemas rumah tu
dahla kakak aku baru bersalin. nama anak dia Nurkhairunnisa Mardiah
mak aku pun cam dah naik demam. siannn dia terpaksa melayan karenah anak dia yg sorg ni. dah la tak reti2 nak plan awal2.
1 week matde settle kan dia nyer application
1 day aku settlekan aku nyer application
1.5 weeks kemas rumah+beli hantaran+gubah hantaran
hantaran aku tu mmg kelakar skit la sbb aku fail bab2 color coordination ni
so, mcm2 color ada. gold, merah, kuning, ijau, biru... so, tema dia, colorful.
yg matde nyer aku ada ternampak ari tu... ungu suma..baju kitorg warna ungu.
benda2 yg aku kena buat lepas ni:
1. xleh kutuk matde kat sini-kena beli diary
2. kena balik kelantan time raya-sucks
3. kena tinggal ngan famili dia-still trying to get use to the idea
wish me luckkkk
Thursday, January 25, 2007
this blog mainly serve sebagai tmpt utk aku melepaskan kemarahan
i have so much anger in me that i need a place to lash out.
unfortunately, almost all the time i was angry at my fiance
whenever he seems not to get it that i am super mad even after screaming + kicking, i have no choice but to lash it out here.
so, that was what happen with the last entry
my fiance is not a bad person and i'm sure all my friends and his finds him gentle and always try to accomodate people even when he dont have the resources to do so. which sometimes irritates me. if you cannot do it, just say so.... but maybe it is not in his nature
i have to say that the both of us is sooo very different. macam langit and bumi la org kata.
ok... gtg
i have so much anger in me that i need a place to lash out.
unfortunately, almost all the time i was angry at my fiance
whenever he seems not to get it that i am super mad even after screaming + kicking, i have no choice but to lash it out here.
so, that was what happen with the last entry
my fiance is not a bad person and i'm sure all my friends and his finds him gentle and always try to accomodate people even when he dont have the resources to do so. which sometimes irritates me. if you cannot do it, just say so.... but maybe it is not in his nature
i have to say that the both of us is sooo very different. macam langit and bumi la org kata.
ok... gtg
this blog mainly serve sebagai tmpt utk aku melepaskan kemarahan
i have so much anger in me that i need a place to lash out.
unfortunately, almost all the time i was angry at my fiance
whenever he seems not to get it that i am super mad even after screaming + kicking, i have no choice but to lash it out here.
so, that was what happen with the last entry
my fiance is not a bad person and i'm sure all my friends and his finds him gentle and always try to accomodate people even when he dont have the resources to do so. which sometimes irritates me. if you cannot do it, just say so.... but maybe it is not in his nature
i have to say that the both of us is sooo very different. macam langit and bumi la org kata.
ok... gtg
i have so much anger in me that i need a place to lash out.
unfortunately, almost all the time i was angry at my fiance
whenever he seems not to get it that i am super mad even after screaming + kicking, i have no choice but to lash it out here.
so, that was what happen with the last entry
my fiance is not a bad person and i'm sure all my friends and his finds him gentle and always try to accomodate people even when he dont have the resources to do so. which sometimes irritates me. if you cannot do it, just say so.... but maybe it is not in his nature
i have to say that the both of us is sooo very different. macam langit and bumi la org kata.
ok... gtg
Thursday, January 18, 2007
this entry is seriously long overdue...
today i am 27 years old and 18 days.... wow... how can i be this old. in a couple of years i will be 30 years. damn... not that i mind being older. i think i even embrace it. at least now i have my own car. that is a real achievement. other than that everything is status quo. matde still cant marry me... or wont.. god knows when i will get married. so in the mean time i'll just scout around just in case. we never know right? hehe..
career wise, i think i'll just go with the flow. there's no point fighting it. daripada takder kerja. i might as well try to learn as much as possible. maybe kalau dah bosan, bole kerja and jaga anak. ok... i seriously have to stop thinking about marriage coz it is not going to happen at least in the next three years.
tahun ni aku nak jadi health conscious. so, i start eating breakfast. makan sikit jer kalau takder customer belanja. mestila makan byk kalau org belanja kan? travel as much is i can. my plan to go to hong kong need to be deferred. fuck. ingatkan bole gi next week but i might need to move into another department. i want to travel more. go to beaches and become a bitch there.. spend more money. no point saving it anymore. it's not like i'm going to get marry anyway.. ok.. stop.
i'm looking forward to NEW challenges this year. aku rasa aku bole start beli rumah by next year.. i think i can afford it by then.
yeay.. new house, new car
today i am 27 years old and 18 days.... wow... how can i be this old. in a couple of years i will be 30 years. damn... not that i mind being older. i think i even embrace it. at least now i have my own car. that is a real achievement. other than that everything is status quo. matde still cant marry me... or wont.. god knows when i will get married. so in the mean time i'll just scout around just in case. we never know right? hehe..
career wise, i think i'll just go with the flow. there's no point fighting it. daripada takder kerja. i might as well try to learn as much as possible. maybe kalau dah bosan, bole kerja and jaga anak. ok... i seriously have to stop thinking about marriage coz it is not going to happen at least in the next three years.
tahun ni aku nak jadi health conscious. so, i start eating breakfast. makan sikit jer kalau takder customer belanja. mestila makan byk kalau org belanja kan? travel as much is i can. my plan to go to hong kong need to be deferred. fuck. ingatkan bole gi next week but i might need to move into another department. i want to travel more. go to beaches and become a bitch there.. spend more money. no point saving it anymore. it's not like i'm going to get marry anyway.. ok.. stop.
i'm looking forward to NEW challenges this year. aku rasa aku bole start beli rumah by next year.. i think i can afford it by then.
yeay.. new house, new car