i learn a thing or two about friendship today.

today, i truly believe that if someone looks like he likes you, he might actually not because there's always something that tick us off. i sometimes do it too to couple of people in my office which i can say, i truly hate but i tolerated anyway because i have to work with them. btw, you are not one of them, judd. whatever gossip u hear from anyone in the office, you are still my good friend and i like to keep it that way. so, ignore them.... and i have to admit i can be a little bit bitchy sometimes. i can sometimes sense they hate working with me too for my bossiness and bithciness

seriously, i read one very disturbing comment about boro in judd's blog that i am so shocked to hear (comment tu dah tutup sbb dah jadi out of hand). wow... i still cannot believe it till now. does he hates me too and only tolerated me because he is a good friend of my fiancee... i know i can be very defensive sometimes when it comes to my very good girl friends easpecially boro, elly and rush and also a couple girls from high school. it could be my feminism or PMS talking when one of my friends were attacked like that. God, how can you attack your friend when she is only saying how interesting the issue has been? ok.. maybe i am just asking to be attacked too. there was one time i got into an argument with a friend an he told me i was "not toughtfull and he would rather spent time with other people than me" and i cried for like 2 days. i was so sad to hear something as unexpected as that. so, i cannot imagine what boro is feeling right now for being called like that unexpectedly.

Sometimes, we just have to stop and ponder how cruel your friend can be..

Btw, aku dah takleh nak tgk comment side tu... tak tau kenapa kena block. so.. kalau korg tanya2 aku tak jawab tu... mintak maaf la yer.....

just imagine, u have been slaving yourself for 10, maybe 15 years. coming exactly at 8 am and leaving about 8-9 pm. you do this every single weekdays without fail. you finished all the required assignments, projects, paperworks on time. you never mess up your job. in other words, you did your job well. you never complain when one of colleague mess up his job and you have to clean the shit. every year, during assesment you do not merit because your boss said you were just doing your job and thus, will not be granted any thing more than a normal yearly raise. fine... u said... maybe that's true. you see people move around, go from one place to another. you ask your boss that u wanted to move too and he said you should stay to become expert of what you're doing. after much thought and consideration, you decided to stay.... until one day, u just cannot see where you are going anyway, got very frustrated and started acting out. your boss started to think you are useless and all the 10-15 years of hardwork as nothing.

so, why work so hard? why spend so much time in the office working? why trying your ass off to impress your boss?

i can see clearly now that all effort are useless... fruitless and whatever. stop trying too hard and start having fun a little. i started working with the idea "i want to make a difference" but end up with "how much difference can i make?"

hujan sgt lebat kat luar. aku malas lagi nak balik. jap lagi kot. the road must be sooo bad... and i'm not feeling too well.
i really need to get out of this office but why am i still here?