lagi 2 hari new year... ramai yg on leave. aku pun nak amik cuti la, this year nyer cuti tinggal satu, so might as well abiskan jer... esok la aku nak cuti.

feeling a little bit lethargic lately. nak bangun pagi pun tak larat. i wish i am on my bed right now. i wonder why i'm feeling like this. maybe i'm depress because new year is just around the corner. there's a lot of things that i shouldn't done but did it anyway last year. better to keep for myself.

it is quite depressing to learn that i am going to be one year older in the next two days. my new year resolution for next year would be to be secretive of my age and weight. eheheh.. a lot of my friends started to do that. so, i might as well join the crowd.

maybe next year, i should try to put better stuff on my blog, stop writing incoherently and try to concentrate on one topic before jumping on others.

my good freind elly is on cruise right now... have a blast elly... cannot say that i'm not jealous.. eehehe... coz i really wanted to go on a cruise... what to do...

a song by shania that catches my ears.. ehehe..

Ka-Ching!

We live in a greedy little world -
that teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly -
then turn around and
Spend it foolishly
We've created us a credit card mess
We spend the money that we don't possess
Our religion is to go and blow it all
So it's shoppin' every Sunday at the mall
All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing - Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

When you're broke go and get a loan
Take out another mortgage on your home
Consolidate so you can afford
To go and spend some more when
you get bored

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store

Let's swing
Dig deeper in your pocket
Oh, yeah, ha
Come on I know you've got it
Dig deeper in your wallet
Oh

All we ever want is more
A lot more than we had before
So take me to the nearest store
##################################

it is quite frightening isn't it? we truly are living in a greedy little world. everyone trying to get richer and richer. i myself studied very hard in high school not because i want the knowledge but because i know where i will end-up if i don't excel.

Aku rasa citer catch me if u can mmg bestla. Selalunyer I won’t be excited to watch a movie the second time. Tapi masa tgk citer tuh, aku masih trasa interested to watch. Dlm movie tu la aku trasa Leonardo mmg a very good actor. A week before aku tgk citer tu, I watched Leonardo in another movie(cannot remember the title). Dia bwk watak yg totally different from the ‘catch me if u can’. And the baby face is totally cute. But, takla se-cute Anakin in star wars though. I think he is the cutest and most arrogant-looking man in the world. And Aragon is the coolest-looking guy in the world.

U know what, I think I watched too many movies. Went to the cinemas too often too. Maybe I should cut down on watching movies. Try doing something new. What haa can be done in Malaysia? Sleeping would be a good option. Ehehehe… I am too tired these days coz I am rarely at home. It is really surprising how driving can worn your body out. Luckily I don’t have to go through a heavy traffic to work. Nasib baik ada alternative route. Kalau tidak, abisla my legs. Sure pengsan every time sampai rumah.

No one in the office yet. Or have they gone home already? Working in a small company mmg very unpredictable (in terms of colleague attendance). Mmg senang nak amik cuti. Cuti tak bergaji pun senang jer nak amik. No hassle. It just that, everyone in the office will know where you are and what you are doing. Right now, aku nak siapkan semua kerja aku cepat2 so that I can read my new book.

last night aku+matde finally dpt tgk lotr:rotk. Punyala lama plan nak tgk tapi asyik tak jadi jer.. sebelum tgk tu, semua org kata citer tu best. Bila dah dgr camtu, as usual, I will have a very high expectation of the movie. I expect the movie would be very good that I could not even predict the storyline. Tapi malangnyer… jalan citer nyer pretty obvious(at least for me). i think I better not mention what the obvious scenes are. Manila tau… ada yg belum tgk lagik. But there is one scene that I think so funny. It was said that no man alive/dead (and I thought it means manusia). But actually, I got it wrong. What he meant was a girl can kill the cursed man but not guys. What the hell? I think I am the only one laughing at that scene…

so, next time, I’ll remind myself to not have any expectation on movies coz that will definitely spoil the fun.

There’s an article on the newspaper today about disciplining children. The main issue was she (the writer) observed (in public) that parents are too gentle to their child and this in the end has spoil the children.

I know this sounds bad, but I don’t really remember much how my parents brought me up. I just remember fragments of it. For example, I remembered being chased by mother with a hose because I “main air” in washroom. Then I was temporarily kicked out from house because I threw a knife at my own sister. I deserved that. No one in the family remembers this incident accept me. Other than that, I don’t remember anything. Maybe because I am a girl and not that naughty (compared to my other brothers). That the beauty of having a lot of siblings. Sometimes, your parents can overlook you. ehehe…

As for me, kalau budak2 below 3 yrs old, I normally pamper them and occasionally pinch them if they’re naughty or taknak dgr ckp. Sometimes pinch kuat2, sometimes tak, depends on their strength. Kalau slow sgt, krg tak rasa pulak… takder effect pulak kan. But I love conversing with them. Mcm2 citer boleh kuar. There were times when they just make things up to sound as if they are the good guys. Well, who doesn’t heh. I myself is surrounded by budak2 skrg ni coz my sister is staying with us. Seronok boleh main ngan diorg… ptg2, I’ll jog with my 2 yrs old nephew. Kalau jogging ngan dia, mmg effective coz he won’t let me stop. kuat tul stamina budak2 ni... tapi aku pun dah tak fit dah.. cepat jer rasa penat... already....

this one i got from rush. kelakar giler... ehehehe... enjoyyyy...


WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't
feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me. As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word..So then I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. "Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon,then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; in! stead we went out into the country to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable" "Sure!" I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake . . followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday. And I just sat there ... ... . on the couch . . . naked. You figure it out...

while trying to kill my time, aku gi ayun nyer web, then to fer's blog, then i found this:

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

giler.... i bet being a 6 years old must be fun. takyah risau apa2.. aku ni .. in 2 weeks time will be sweet 24... ehehehe.. bolehla.... kasi can la... masih sweet....

bilik baru....

aku dpt bilik baru kat rumah. malam semalam, dgn secara ditactor nyer, aku dan adik aku telah merampas bilik tidur adik lelaki kami untuk dijadikan bilik kami.... kah kah kah (ketawa kejam). nasib la kan... sapa suruh dia jadi anak bongsu.... tapi apa nak risau, nanti rumah tu, jatuh ke tgn dia gak... dahla aku dpt tanah di kampung sebelah yg lagi jauh dari bandar. tension tul. kalau dpt tanah balakang rumah aku skrg pun dah ok sgt dah. boleh buat rumah banglo satu.
skrg ni nak beli rumah bukannyer murah, lagi2 kalau kat kwsn lembah klang. alang2 baik aku beli kat hartamas jer kan... lagi power.

finally, berjaya jugak aku buat some improvements...
nasib baik aku nyer free time mmg byk giler... adala masa to do my own thing.

esok boss aku buat rumah terbuka. aku kena dtg and layan the clients.. scary gak tu. camner la aku nak converse ngan aku nyer clients yg for sure umur at least 5 years older. kalau nak ckp pasal lagu2 hip hop retila aku.

but then, this is not bussiness oriented event. so, no need to worry la...

i find this site very interesting... ni rush nyer site.. tapi dia tak update pun.. anyways, take a look if u want- my potential.

dah nak balik... yey... esok dah jumaat.

aku dpt ni dari member aku.. since aku rasa joke ni kelakar nak mampus.... aku terpaksala post kat blog ni gak. for those who don't know, kancil nyer max speed 160 km/hr

Subject: PERODUA Boleh!!



pada suatu malam yang hening dan sunyi di lebuhraya utara selatan
kelihatan sebuah kancil putih tersadai di sebelah lane kerosakan.Ada
orang tua yang berdiri disebelahnya,pemilik kancil tu sedang berjalan
kehulu kehilir cuba menahan kereta supaya membantu.tidak ada sebuah
kereta pun berhenti.tiba-tiba datangla sebuah kereta evo 7 berhenti di
sebelah kancil tadi.

"ada apa nie pakcik,kereta rosak ke?"tanya pemuda berusia dalam
lingkungan 20an."a'ha rosak "jawap pakcik tu simple aje....
"ok,cam nie,saya ada tali nanti saya ikat kat kereta saya dan saya tarik
kereta pakcik sampai tol"mamat nie bagi idea.
"worrait gak tu...",tapi....nanti kalau pakcik rasa awak bawak laju
pakcik
akan hon dan bagi high beam"

"ok pakcik"..mamat nie pun ikatlah tali kat kereta kancil didepan dan
hujungnya diikat dibelakang bumper evonye.
dia pun jalanla..dengan slow dan berhati-hati.Dalam lima kilometer mamat
nie laju le sikit,apalagi pakcik tu pun hon dan bagi high beam la kat
mamat
tu.Mamat tu pun slowkan balik..

Tiba-tiba ada sebuah ferrari datang dari belakang dan press minyak kat
mamat evo7.apa lagi,jiwa muda patang dicabar,
dia pun tekan la minyak rapat nak kejar ferrari nie...lupa la pulak dia
dengan kancil org tua yg diikat kat belakang kereta dia.

Orang tua tu punya la hangin satu badan,dia pun hon dan bagi hi beam
bagai nak rak.Mamat evo7 tu dah tak sedar dah angin punya
pasal.Kebetulan pilak polis ada buat speed trap kat bawah jambatan.

Vrooommm......bedesup peginye...

ini dah lebih speed limit nie...kate polis nie..cecah 250kmj memasing
nie...

dia pun contact la kengkawan dia kat depan supaya saman kereta-kereta
yg laju nie...

"over..over,ada tiga buah kenderaan memandu melebihi had laju,sebuah
ferrari,sebuah evo7 dan sebuah lagi kalau aku cakap korang mesti tak
percaye punye.........sebuah kancil putih tengah cucuk angin evo7 tu
dan bagi hon dan hi beam nak potong!!!'

-end-

i always thought that girls jer yg suka bergossip and all... but bila aku kat US, aku rasa salah assumption aku tu. actually the guys when they get together pun suka bergossip. cuma lain sikit caranyer...

the best thing about gossiping with my girl friends is the gigling, screaming and guffaw part.... sometimes takla kelakar sgt pun. cuma bila dah ramai2 mmg lupa diri langsung.... i can still remember how elly and I gossip... mmg tak ingat dunia la... boleh bukak tingkap besar2 pulak tu.. i don't know how many people can hear it. eheheh... masa sophomore year, aku, elly, bie and haz normally buat girl's nite out kat bilik bie (sbb bilik aku not presentable, bilik elly kecik sgt, bilik haz takder tv). we gossip and gossip till morning... pastu main game entah apa2 ntah. kinda miss those times...

tapi bila gossip ngan budak2 lelaki... diorg suka make fun of other people. ckp benda bukan2 la... the gossip yg aku suka nak dgr but sometimes terlalu "lucah" (to hear it from a guy). nevertheless, aku tak kisah sgt pun... asalkan boleh gelak2.. makes my mundane life more ceria...

skrg ni... nak gossip ngan sapala agaknyer.... almost everyone yg aku kenal dah ada life sendiri... kalau diorg takder life pun, aku yg dah susah nak keluar dari rumah sbb duduk ngan parents. i just don't understand how thery don't mind me staying at the state, but susah sgt nak lepaskan aku gi jalan2 kat malaysia ni...

UNFOLDING THE ROSE:

A young, new ustaz was walking with an older, more seasoned ustaz in the garden one day. The younger ustaz wanted to marry a noble Muslim girl but was unsure whether their relationship would stand the test of time and temptation. Though he believes his fiancé loves him dearly, he was still afraid of the unknown. Feeling a bit insecure about what Allah had him do, he asked the older ustaz for some advice. The older ustaz walked up to a rosebush and handed the young ustaz a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young ustaz looked in disbelief at the older ustaz and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of Allah for his life and ministry.


But because of his great respect for the older ustaz, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact... It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger ustaz's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older ustaz began to recite the following poem...

It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah's design,
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
ALLAH opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allah's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Allah for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allah for His guidance
Each step of the way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allah knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

last saturday nite, aku+matde gi rumah hafiz. actually nak gi masa siang, tapi matde byk hal la pulak, hantar abah gi airportla, gi main bola la... so, terpaksala gi malam. sian hafiz. dah terngantuk2 dia. aku tak prasan dia dah ngantuk sbb aku dah biasa sgt lepak ngan dia sampai mlm2 buta. tak terpkla dia boleh ngantuk awal2 gitu. best giler dpt gambar masa grad.nasib baik aku gi grad ceremonies ngan hafiz... adala hard copy nyer gambar.

aku rasa kurang praktikal guna digital camera kat malaysia ni.. nak cuci mmg mahal nak mampus. satu keping RM1. and kena processing fee RM1.50 every time... very2 expensive.. so, i'm decided to buy a new camera yg bukan digital. raya ni family aku langsung tak amik gambar pun.

aku ada baca satu buku citer malam semalam... aku nampak satu trend dalam buku cerita and drama melayu lately nih.. selalunyer mesti hero or heroin baru balik blaja oversea.. most of the times US. then bercinta sesama sepupu. aku pun pelik. bukan berkawin sama sepupu ni kurang elok ke sbb ada pertalian sedara. lastly, kalau ada anak mesti satu jer. jrg jer aku dgr org melayu yg tinggal kat kampung cuma ada 1 anak. apala diorg yg tulis buku/drama ni... cubala jadi adventurous sikit...

dalam byk2 hari, aku suka hari jumaat, sbb the day after that dah sabtu... tak keje. but then bila masuk ahad, dah menyampah dah sbb the day after dah hari isnin. weekend ni as usual, aku nak lepak rumah rush. boleh tido the whole day. kalau kat rumah, trasa guilty tido jer sbb nanti semua benda mak aku kena buat. so, terpaksala meringankan sikit tulang.

plus, astro nyer program tak interesting sgt during weekends.. i prefer the shows during weekdays.

i've started reading new kind of books... non-fiction one. just to widen my perspective. iyerla... asyik nak baca romance books jer.. nanti aku gak yg depress sbb my romance life is very far from romantic, more like a roller-coaster actually. anyways, one book entitled problem from hell. that book was recommended by matde and it was really good. it explains how the un-involvement of US had led to genocide. but sometimes bila diorg masuk campur and they screw-up, then diorg lak yg kena.. what to do... that's the price of being the sole-superpower. everything diorg kena amik tau and handle.

right now, i'm reading about globalization. aku baca terlalu la slow nyer.. baru masuk second chapter... maybe i should have read the book before i was interviewed by petronas. so i can put in more brilliant ideas... and takla kena hentam teruk2 ngan interviewer. bukan rezeki aku kot.

it would be nice to know everything in this world. i'm so tired of being ridicule.. it was mainly my fault actually to finding out about stuff. i just mind my own business when i was at the state. maybe if i read more papers... yeah... maybe.

i'm thinking of nak bukak my own bussiness one day. taknakla makan gaji forever. duit tak byk pun. aku ingat nak blaja2 buat kek secara kecil2an... ok gak kan?

after beraya kat us for 4 years, beraya kat rumah mmg trasa sgt best.. even though takder org sgt. makcik2 and pakcik2 yg duduk sebelah rumah semua balik kampung. maklumla, diorg masih ada mak/bapak mentua lagi. then kakak2 aku yg ada anak2 semua balik kampung gak... sunyi giler rasanyer... tinggalla aku dan adik2 dan mak + abah jer.

kitorg tak beraya ngan abah+mak sbb abah aku anak yg paling tua and nenek+atuk aku dah takder. so, adik2 abah aku yg dtg ke rumah. kalau ikut abah beraya mmg tak beraya la gamaknyer.. mak pun anak ke-4, jadi dia pun tak beraya sgt. diorg bila raya pertama sampai ketiga mmg tak gi mana2. skrg baru start... pegila ke rumah wak2 and bibik2 diorg yg masih ada.

aku lak, dah start keje dah skrg ni. demam lak tuh... skrg musim buah. rambutan mmg tak terkata la byk nyer.. and aku pun sedap jer makan sampai sakit tekak..

maybe by next week bila matde dah balik ke putrajaya, aku start gi rumah budak2 us yg lain...

since esok aku dah start cuti, aku nak mengucapkan....

SELAMAT HARI.... MAAF ZAHIR BATIN....semua...

bagi elly, hafiz, apu and hakam... since aku spend most of my times with you guys before aku balik... aku nak mintak ampun byk2 kalau aku ada buat silap esp. waktu2 aku PMS, sorryla.. time tu emo sikit... halalkan makan minum... kalau nak halalkan hutang2 aku (if any) pun ok gak... thanks for the good times...

to the rest all my friends yg baca blog ni.. aku mintak maaf kalau ada apa siliap... manala tau apa yg aku tulis kdg2 tu menyinggung hati sapa2 ker...

already... take care u all... tata...

is it ok if....
can i....
what if....

there's a lot that i want to write. but my mind is so numb and i'm not good with words either.. normally, when facing a situation that i don't know how to handle, i just stop thinking about it and let it be... but will i be able to do it?

to all malaysian students in umich especially elly, i hope u guys will stay strong... take care... hope to see you guys in malaysia.

hari raya... masa b4 masuk u, hari raya means i'll get at least one new baju raya & some duit raya; masa kat u, it means a lot of open houses to attend + don't have to cook for at least a few days; now, hari raya means endless shopping for family's brg2 raya+ mencuci rumah... yeah.. i have to basuh my house sbb dah byk sgt habuk accumulated.... and we do it only before raya. masa ni la nak bersihkan segala2nyer... my only adik perempuan pulak tgh amik spm, and my mom takyah tolong coz she's the only one who cooks. abah aku la kesian.... asyik kena bersihkan lumpur jer... kat rumah aku dah banjir 2 kali dah since puasa ni... kalau banjir lagi masa raya kang.. i don't know leee

tukar topic sat... hitz fm nyer issue this morning... heart or money.. kinda interesting issue... i think i have to go for the money... eheheh... mcm2 aku boleh beli kalau aku ada duit. keter pun takla takat kelisa jer.. i can go for peugeot 206 terus... then i can buy lots and lots of diamonds... buy a resort style condominium at hartamas... built my own swimming pool.... get a personal trainer... shops for furniture at IKEA...since i know wishing doesn't make it so, i just better stop now.

la la la....

skrg ni tgh rehat. today tak perlu beli apa2.. so, takyah keluar. bestnyer kalau ada keter baru.. sure engin pun senyap jer.. takderla mcm kereta aku yg setiap kali tekan minyak sure bunyik... pastu absorber pun bunyik gak...terciut ciut... ish... tak bersyukur betul aku ni... bukannyer kena bayar apa2 pun utk keter tu... bayar duit minyak jer...
tapi yg bestnyer... keter kancil ni.. 20 ringgit dah penuh dah tangki... pastu ulang alik gi keje... adala 5 ringgit. so.. kalau utk gi kerja jer tanpa singgah mana2... duit minyak cuma dlm 50 la seminggu..

bob... di mana anda? saja jer.. nak tau... sbb dah lama tak dgr brita... matde pun dah terindu2 ni...ehehehe

The Difference between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

Then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says aloud, "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

There is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed--even before I sensed it--that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600! And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems truly to care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking:Warranty? They want a warranty? I can't believe it! "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh, God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad finally to know the correct answer. "It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home. She lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.) The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i've read it somewhere... tapi maybe masa tu aku budak2 lagi and i did not realize that it is actually true. sometimes girls tends to think more about relationship (psl2 yg tak perlu la).... sbb dulu masa ramai kawan perempuan.. selalu gak borak2 pasal boyfriend masing2 esp in high school, i know it is stupid... mcmla yg lelaki tu pk pasal kita pun.... so, girls out there... stop thinking too much about your relationship or boyfriend... and just do whatever you want with your life... if the guy truly loves you... he'll accept you no matter what... but if he doesn't... i'm sorry... live goes on i suppose.

it's thursday, and as usual... malam tadi, aku tido awal...that means, miss 3 episodes of CSI Miami three weeks in a row... see.. how malaysia has changed my life, kalau kat us, mimpi la aku nak tgk citer2 camtu... sure aku tgk comedies jer.. i really miss that 70's show and friends... isk.. isk...

since aku tido awal... aku pun bangun awal... 3.38 pagi... then mengelamun... pastu ntah camner, aku terpk pasal anak2 yg kena halau dari rumah... aku rasa mak bapak tak patut halau anak diorg walau sebesar manala diorg nyer salah. kalau budak tu yg tak pandai... kalau yg pompuan... bsr kemungkinan jadi bohsia... kalau yg laki...mungkin jadi pencuri... apasal la nak musnahkan idup anak yg dah musnah... sedangkan nabi ampunkan umat.

ada gak kes, budak tu pandai, tak pernah mintak duit kat mak bapak, tiba2 termengandung... dah.. kena buang keluarga, sian budak tu. kenapala kdg2 parents ni penting kan diri sendiri.. pkla sikit... mcmla diorg ni tak pernah muda.. paham2la kan.. maafkanla dia... suruhla dia balik.

bila dah penat pk, aku call matde and tido balik.....

as of today, i really believe that being a guy has more advantages than being a girl. if i am a guy, i would have the chance to go to sites (boss aku tak caya aku boleh pegi coz i'm a small girl)... tak larat angkat pipe nanti... well.. whatever, a guy don't need permission to go anywhere... boleh tido at friends house without questions.... boleh balik malam, travel jauh... boleh buat apa2 pun... ni aku nak gi swimming pun semua org byk soal.. tension tau tak. aku mmg trasa sungguh tak puas hati with this dammed double standards. i use to remind myself that double standards kat malaysia still very strong, tapi bila sendiri yg terkena... mmg pedas giler.. to hell with them..

ok, tukar citer sikit....
lately byk giler citer2 pasal ibu2 yg ditinggalkan oleh anak. ibu2 jer yg dpt masuk tv sbb selalunyer pompuan yg nampak lagi frail (double standard) and live longer than men. member aku berpendapat, mesti ibu2 ni ibu2 yg jahat kat anak2. well, i never see it that way. i use to believe that it must be the child's fault when they abadon their mothers. if you really thinks about it, sometimes that's true. maybe mak dia mistreated the child.. that the child later on heated the mother so much that they leave her. i just hope when the times come i won't leave my mother...

semalam tgk citer down with love... cool giler citer tu... suka tgk renee tu berjalan.. lenggang tak ingat nyer... ehehe.. matde yg recommend. nasib baik best. sbb selalunyer citer yg dia betul2 nak tgk mmg sucks... ada ker patut ajak aku tgk citer mami jarum junior... langsung tak lawak. dahla guna bahasa yg aku tak familiar.

anyways... i just love that movie... terpaksa tabik renee... dia punya expression mmg tak sapa boleh lawan.. and also... yesterday my first time travel dari putrajaya ke rumah. jauh sungguh. nasib baik tak sesat. terpaksa hantar matde balik ke rumah sbb dia tumpang org ke-pyramid...

tadi mcm ada benda nak tulis... tapi dah lupa... makin lama makin pelupa la aku agaknyer. well, nothings new... as usual, byk giler yg aku nak buat.. tapi semua takleh nak jalan sbb byk sgt halangan (ie. mak tak kasi, bapa tak kasi, keter adik aku pakai, duit tak cukup... bla bla bla). i just hate it bila jadi camtu. not that i always get what i want. normally the other way round.

but sometimes, i don't know what i want. do i want to change my job? i think in this case it is 50-50. i am a little bit lucky actually to straight away dpt keje after duit aku dah hampir abis kat bank. tmpt keje pun dekat ngan rumah... even though it takes me 40 minutes to get to work. aku bawak keter slow sikit. maklumla... tak biasa... at least aku dah boleh bawak. compared to few months ago. nak kuarkan keter dari parking spot pun tak berani.

sbnrnya, aku pun tak tau apa point aku... nak abiskan masa jer sbnrnya... have to wait for my dad. bila la agaknyer "probation" period aku ni nak abis. asyik kene tunggu org jer.

and skrg aku dah start tgk2 keter apa yg aku nak beli... keter tu mesti tak lebih dari 1.3cc, compact, 4 doors. kereta2 yg aku berkenan... kelisa, peugeot 206 and citreon C3.... tgk gaya, kelisa jer yg aku mampu beli...but i think citreon tu 1.6cc la... have to check again.

as usual... got this from a friend... utk org2 yg sedang bercinta...

MENYINTAI TIDAK BERMAKNA MEMILIKI

Janganlah kau angkuh melaungkan...
Si dia kepunyaanmu...
Atau kau kepunyaan si dia ...
Kerana hakikatnya...
Kita tidak pernah memiliki sesiapa...
Walau sekeping hati seorang insan...
Tidakkah kau sedar...
Hukum alam menyatakan...
Menyintai tidak semestinya memiliki?...

Manusia pandai berpura...
Berlakon di pentas dunia...
Dan bertopeng menutup rahsia..
Tetapi hati...
Tidak pernah berdusta pada empunya...
Tentang perasaan yang bergolak di dalamnya...

Tidakkah kau sedar...
Mungkin si dia melafazkan...
Ungkapan cinta padamu...
Tetapi hati dan perasaannya...
Tidak pernah berniat begitu...
Dia hanya berselindung...
Di sebalik sejuta alasan...

Dan kau...
Begitu jujur dan setia menyintainya..
Sehingga terlupa..
Hukum alam menyatakan..
Menyintai tidak bermakna memiliki..

Sesungguhnya...
"Aku tidak pernah memiliki dirimu..."
"Dan kau jua tidak memiliki diriku."

Mengertilah...
Kita sebenarnya kepunyaan..
Yang Maha Esa...
Tiada sesiapa berhak memiliki diri kita...
Kecuali Dia...
Dia mengasihi hambaNya...
Dia memiliki hambaNya...
Dan ke pangkuan Dia kita akan dikembali......

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

kesimpulannyer... kalau bercouple, jgnla obsess sgt. kita gak yg sakit nanti. kalau buat tak kisah pun susah jugak... so, pandai2 jerla jaga diri.

take care....

tension tul la aku... dah tulis panjang2...tiba2 ilang la pulak.... anyways... my entry for today sbnrnya nak ckp aku nyer new findings...

1) ada 2 jenis air bandung. air bandung letak soda(bandung moden) and air bandung susu.

2) dalam washing machine ada fuzzy logic. takkan berenti basuh sampaila baju bersih. ni dpt dari colleague.. so, tak tau betul ke idak....

3) aku nyer pengetahuan am sgt cetek sampaikan mcm baru semalam jer aku hidup... so, the moral of the story... rajin2la amik tau pasal keter, politik and all....

got this from my colleague

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower
viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more
conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more
knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet
more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.


We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too
late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray
too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but
reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too
often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years
to life not life to years. We've been all the way
to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a
new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner
space. We've done larger things, but not better things.


We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but
learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush,
but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate
less and less.


These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and
small character, steep profits and shallow
relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce,
fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of
quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands,
overweight bodies, and pills that do everything
from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A
time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you
can choose either to share this insight, or to
just hit delete.


Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind
word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person
soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember,
to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only
treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't
cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will
mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold
hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and
give time to share the precious thoughts in your
mind.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.

finally, skrg aku dah rollerblading blaik... eventhough takla jauh mana... setakat kat laman rumah aku jer.... nasib baik laman rumah bsr, mmg muat letak 3 kereta.... kalau nak cantum tmpt letak kereta belakang ngan depan, bolehla letak max 8 kereta... lagi best kalau rumah rumah aku tinggi sikit... since bapa aku dah cement bawah rumah.... nampak smooth pulak tu... sure best...

anyways, pakcik aku kata ada satu stadium kat klang tmpt budak2 main rollerblading and yg seangkatan dengannyer..... best2... skrg, lesen dah ada, dah tau tmpt main rollerblade and swimming pool.... nampaknyer... hari2 minggu ku takkan sebosan yg dulu.... gym and spa pun satu block ngan my workplace.

ni dah masuk the second week after pet ckp nak call aku utk set masa interview... aku dah agak dah... takkan nyer diorg call. susah tul la camni... takper, aku call lagi bulan depan.

susah gak nak bawak keter ni... byk sgt benda nak ingat. lagi2 bagi aku yg baru sebulan lebih memegang stering kereta... uish... ngeri gak memikirkannyer... anyways, all in a good time.

baru abis baca buku Sword of the truth yg ke-9(naked truth). tak best sgt... sbb tak byk scene perang. aku suka baca bila wizards and witches fight. dah tgk Pirates of The Caribbean. kelakar giler tgk johnny depp camtu... and perempuan tu patutla mcm familiar muka, rupa2nyer berlakun dlm bend it like beckham.

My life has become quite monotonus lately… tak tau dah nak buat apa or gi mana… balik2 gi pyramid. takder ker tmpt nak g blading ker... apa ker... ish2.... nak tulis daily journal ni pun dah takder idea...

the only highlight yg aku kinda looking forward to is interview with petronas yg supposedly in 2 weeks. but, paham2 jerla... for petronas, that kind of reply is standard. telefonla 100 kali pun... itu jugakla jawapan yg diorg kasi. nasib baik aku dah keje... maunyer takder duit by now kalau tidak.

tiba2 skrg ni aku trasa nak beli brg2 buatan malaysia jer skrg ni... trasa patriotik sikit kot after merdeka. lagipun tersgt2 mahal la benda2 oversea ni... clinique nyer moisturiser yg 10 bucks jadi RM78. walaupun aku sure 3 or 4 bulan baru abis aku guna... tapi aku rasa still melampau mahalnyer.

another thing... skrg ni byk company kat malaysia yg kena virus. aku dgr satu telekom nyer comp kene.. sampai takleh nak on comp... cian diorg... kitorg pun kene tempias2 jerla... takla sampai camtu...

tak best nyer hari khamis... trasa penat ghell. waa.... nak balik. tak larat.... kalau boleh ponteng kan best. lepas ni menengok jam jerla aku....menunggu 5.30 tiba

ermm... jom kita ckp pasal duit. aku rasa duit tu sgt2 penting dalam idup. selalunyer boleh membawa bahagia kpd hidup dan boleh jugak bwk rasa tak best. best sbb boleh buat, beli or pegi mana2 jer yg kita nak without mintak duit dari parents or the significant other. jadi tak best bila dah taksub ngan duit. kedekut... taknak kongsi ngan keluarga... and sbb nak sgt carik duit, tak spend masa sgt with the important people.

sbnrnya try to write something meaningful... since aku dah ngantuk sgt ni... and rasa tak best... i'm just going to stop here.

today start balik baca my favorite book of all time "My daddy long legs". masa freshman, after baca buku tu, i was inspired to write my mom long emails at least once a week. and yes, i did it until sophomore... and then after that, work piled up like crazy... tak larat dah... so, call jerla once a week... what the hell la i'm reminiscing ni...

ok... back to the real current state of me... a career woman... as usual, my colleagues will end up talking about women and pregnancies... sbb ada sorg engineer kat sini tgh pregnant. so, dia selalu sakit and all.. sian dia.. if i stay here as long as her... i'm sure i'll be equally busy... not like now, sempat lagi tulis blog.

anyhow, masa borak2, aku bagila comment. some pompuan mmg tak rasa sakit masa mengandung kot sbb my mom ok jer... since she is my mom, there is a chance that i will be fine too.. so, my bos commented, he thinks org dulu ngan skrg lain. org dulu dia nyer endurance of pain is higher compared to org skrg sbb takder pain relief and all... kalau sakit... tahan jer.. tak mcm skrg.. sakit sikit... ubat. kira badan pun naik manja la.... maybe betul jugak tu... kiranyer kalau mcm aku yg dah 3 kali kena food poisoning, lagi susah nak kena bila makan food tak brapa elok compared to people yg tak pernah kena...

last weekend blaja driving for 8 hrs. 4 hrs perday... the result... kaki lenguh2 sbb asyik nak kena pijak clutch... mana taknyer, kereta yg blaja parking punyala byk... nak kena tunggu turn pastu kena berenti... lepas berenti... nak kena masuk gear 1. asyik2 berenti, masuk gear 1, freekan gear... no wonder kaki aku sungguh lenguh...

dah confirm... and lulus ujian sebelum hantar gi driving test... doakanla aku berjaya yer... monday (25 ogos 2003) aku nyer test day.. cuak ni... takut gagal berenti kat garisan kuning masa naik bukit ngan berenti sblm garisan putih kat simpang... yg lain2 insyallah aku boleh ingat.

kalau pass test ni... insyallah boleh naik keter g keje by next month. takyah lagila aku nak menumpang org gi keje. best2...

YEY!!! esok weekend. bestnyer cuti.... and esok blaja bawak keter gak... after this weekend aku boleh amik driving test. bila dah dpt lesen, bolehla aku bwk keter gi kerja. takyahla nak mengharapkan aku nyer adik beradik and abah jer nak hantar aku g keje.. dahla org lain sampai pukul 8.45. yg aku lak sampai pukul 8... naya jer nak menunggu....

sabtu malam ada kenduri lagi. family aku ni selalu la buat kenduri. since aku balik jer dah ada 3 kenduri dah... sekali tu utk sambut aku balik+birthday mak+ birthday anak sedara. pastu sepupu lak kawin, pastu kenduri doa selamat kat rumah pak cik. yg sabtu ni tak tau lak kenduri apa... ermm.. camnila kalau semua org duduk dekat2... pastu selalunyer aku nyer tugas kenala basuh pinggan after kenduri abis. and before tu kenala tolong potong2 sayur. nak masak, tak layak lagi... entah bilanyer nak layak...

since aku ni yg paling muda kat office and belum kawin, selalu la mendengar citer2 pasal mengandung la... pasal anak la... lelaki lak tu yg bercerita.... aku ingat pompuan jer yg suka citer2 pasal ni.. citer bila nak dpt anak pun ada.

gi tgk2 deera nyer blog, pastu ada lak mende ni... since aku pun dah penat keje...
aku nak relax la jap....

HAVE YOU EVER------------------

* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: No
* Missed school bcoz it was raining: Never... best apa main ujan
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: gilo opo
* Been hurt emotionally: lots of time..
* Kept a secret from everyone: i don't think so
* Had an imaginary friend: maybe... masa kecik2
* Cried during a Movie: of course, every movie...unless it sucks
* Had a crush on a teacher: once
* Ever thought an animated character was hot?: kenshin was
* Been on stage: few odd times. i always try to avoid it
* Cut your hair: once a yr


FAVORITES------------------

* Shampoo: Lore'al
* Soap: Dove
* Color: coklat
* Day/Night: evening
* Summer/Winter: summer
* Lace or satin: dua2 tak suka
* Fave cartoon Characters: ermm... tak minat kartun.
* Fave Food: soto
* Fave Advert: nothing in mind
* Fave Movie: my best friend's wedding
* Fave Ice Cream: anything Chocolate
* Fave Subject: math
* Fave 'normal' Drink: rebina
* Fave Persons to talk to online: anyone online..


RIGHT NOW------------------

* Wearing: baju kurung and new heels + tudung merah
* Hair is: dalam tudung
* I'm feeling: tired.. biasala.. dah hari khamis
* Eating : not yet
* Drinking: drinking water
* Thinking about: bila nak dpt gaji..
* Listening to: takder speaker... takleh nak dgr apa2


IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------

* Cried: Nope
* Worn a skirt: no...
* Cleaned your room: no
* Done laundry: no
* Drove a car: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------

* Yourself: most of the times
* Your friends: yup
* Santa Claus: absolutely no
* Tooth Fairy: ni utk org putih jer ni
* Destiny/Fate: of course
* Ghosts: kdg2...
* UFO's: not really

FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------

* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: ha'ah
* Like anyone?: all the time
* Who's the loudest: me.. i tend to speak aloud in public
* Who's the shyest: cannot remember
*Who's the weirdest: all my friends are cool....
* Who do you go to for advice: most of the time any friend closest to me
* Who do you cry to?: rush
* When did you cried the most: when i was heart broken.
* What's the best feeling in the world?: being with my family
* Worst feeling: loneliness

semalam lunch bos blanja makan kat Thai Restaurant. giler byk lauk.. adala dalam 6-7 for 7 people. sedap2 food dia... harga pun mahal. takperla, bos bayar. staff dalam office aku ni ada 7 jer including bos. 2 org studied in UK, 2 from US (aku + bos) and 3 locals. bila kitorg start bukak topik pasal blaja oversea... yg lain terpaksala senyap jer... sian gak bila di pk2 kan. tapi aku mmg excited sikit bila borak2 pasal benda2 oversea, lbh2 lagi kalau pasal travel...

sabtu lepas aku nyer first time official blaja bawak keter. sampai2 jer, terus dia suruh aku bwk ke jalanraya... mmg cuak tak ingat nyer... comment2 yg aku dpt, belok tak jaga break & lupa nak bagi isyarat. adala sekali tu masa nak balik, aku nyer keter mati kat traffic light. mmg gelabah sikitla masa tuh... alhamdullilah tak jadi apa2. lagipun aku nyer cikgu boleh break keter tu bila2 masa. hopefully by next week aku dah boleh bawak betul2 dah.

the most common question yg aku dpt bila first jumpa org kat malaysia ni mesti "baru abis blaja ker?". maksudnyer tu bukan abis u, tapi abis SPM. agak2nyer muka aku ni nampak lagi muda as time goes by kot. sbb masa aku kat asrama dulu org selalu ckp muka aku mcm mak org. tapi yg peliknyer, kalau aku pegang budak, mesti org ingat tu anak aku. so, i concluded that my face is young enough to be 17 and old enough to have kids.

also, last weekend was the last show for Akedami Fantasia, okla jugak... i wasn't really paying attention coz tak brapa minat pun and masa tu tgh masuk2kan gambar dalam album. all the three winners are male. aku sure mesti ramai pompuan jer yg hantar SMS. maklumla, we girls rajin buat benda2 tu. ehehe.. aku ingat Nija will get into the top three... obviously, wishing doesn't make it so...

alhamdullilah... skrg ni aku dah dpt keje kat shah alam. by next week bolehla aku jadikan ni as my daily journal sbb next week baru ada pc sendiri. taklah monthly lagi. tapi malangnyer... internet connection kat sini mmg lembap sikit. terpaksa bersabar jerla.

aku nyer bos rupa2nyer petronas scholar gak. so, dia pernah la keje ngan petronas for 10 years. tapi aku ni yg tak dipanggil lagi utk interview tak taula bila nak di panggil keje. yg lain pun mcm tak dgr jer cerita pasal petronas panggil ke apa.

i'm sure kat ann arbor skrg ni tgh panas like hell sbb dah masuk bulan 8. aku nyer first summer jer yg tak panas. at most pun 85 F. last yr gi Vegas, adala sampai 100 F. mmg mcm terbakar jer. seperti kata judd, tmpt buat dosa kot. semua benda2 yg mendatangkan dosa ada. judi, perempaun, girl show... and the list goes on and on. i wish i could go to seattle or canada. itula tmpt2 yg tak berkesempatan nak tgk.

skrg kat malaysia dah ada "reality show" Akademi Fantasia. benda ni lbh kurang mcm american idol. viewers yg vote guna SMS. rancangan tu kat astro jela... kat national channel takder. pastu diorg duduk satu rumah... cuma takderla gaduh2 & sex mcm reality show kat US nu kan. but the fact that they are leaving under the same house is quite apalling actually. maklumla, this is for malaysian viewers. this weekend diorg nyer final show kalau tak silap.

skrg ni kat office kakak aku kat MPK.. bolehla spend masa tulis panjang2 sikit. hari ni baru jer try mintak another keje kat bukit jelutong, shah alam. actually hantar jer...i'm just hoping for the bestla kan.

by the by, niat aku taknak kuar selalu terbantut... ehehe... siap ckp kat mak, try taknak kuar seminggu... lepas ckp jer, esok kuar lagi... sian mak aku... apa boleh buat... anyways, aku dah beli the fifth harry potter sequel. tapi since matde is a faster reader than i am, i let him read it first. and aku baca buku sherlock holmes. after reading hundreds of romance books, reading sherlock holmes is like a revelation to a mind. i wonder if he is a real being or just a narration. mcm CSI jugakla.. how he sees a result and make a deduction according to the result. he called it analytical thinking.

aku nak citer pasal budak2 lak. since my life is surrounded by children (anak2 sedara) nowadays, aku start wondering whether to pamper or treat them harshly. contohnyer, kalau diorg buat salah, kena marah giler2. tapi kalau buat baik, tak ckp apa2... aku tgk ramai yg guna method tuh. sian gak kdg2 bila aku tgk... so aku pun manjakan jer anak2 sedara aku... since aku bukan the mother, buat apa nak harsh2 kan.... maybe kalau aku ada anak sendiri, then aku kena pk la kot. not that i'm going to have any in the near future... just a simple curiousity.

rancangan tv skrg ni byk citer latino. soap opera la kan. tak paham napa ramai sgt yg suka tgk.. aku pun kdg2 duk layan jerla... especially pukul 6.30-7.30. boleh dikatakan dari pukul 1.30 sampai 7.30 mesti ada soap opera latino. naik muak gakla menengoknyer...

and trend drama2 skrg berkisar pasal lelaki yg dah kawin main kayu 3. and isteri2 yg kena tu mesti mcm takleh nak bela diri sendiri and org kampung.... apa ingat org kampung takleh jaga diri ker? (offended jap). tapi sedih gak aku tgk citer2 camtu... ada sekali tu nak menitis air mata... tapi sbb nak tunjuk macho kat mak, terpaksala tahan jer.. tapi aku prefer that kind of dramas daripada citer2 cinta org muda yg entah apa2 ntah. lagi menarik...

okla... takder idea dah nak tulis...oo, just to mention, charlies angels 2 mmg kick ass.. kalau ada can, nak tgk jer lagi sekali... and ada satu scene masa menari kat treasure something, kena potong. tak puas hati sungguh. kalau kat state mesti tak potong...

adala sebulan dah tak update blog nih... might as well call it monthly journal. maybe nanti kalau aku dah keje aku boleh update daily. duduk kat rumah still best walaupun dah sebulan lebih. mana taknyer.. asyik berjalan jer.. ni pun aku dah rasa letih giler.. so, aku pun slow down la activity berjalan aku. well, at least for my mother's peace of mind. sian gak kat dia, kalau aku asyik jalan jer... sure dia risau kan? susah gak jadi mak rupanyer... ehehe...

apa2 hal pun, mak aku masakan mmg best.sampai aku nak makan kat luar pun tak selera...apa boleh buat, tekak aku dah jadi ngada2 balik. aku mmg kena blaja masak dari dia, since aku cuma boleh masa ayam msk kicap, merah dan goreng jer... kenala tambah ilmu masak sikit kan. kalau dok rumah, after kemas2 rumah aku baca buku citer.. buku2 citer kakak aku best2 jugak rupanyer nyer... takla bosan sgt. maybe lagi bosan tak buat apa2, maybe that's why the books are somewhat appealing.

matde pun dah start blaja.. actually, dia start this monday. dpt masuk UNISEL (University Industri Selangor). aku pun dah start try carik keje. hari ni baru nak hantar borang keje kat SIRIM. just incase PET taknak kat aku...

wheather dah improving lately, takla panas and kering jer... ujan2 le sikit. bila ujan and duduk rumah papan, mmg trasala sejuk nyer... tu yg best. kalau duk kat rumah kakak aku, mmgla tak rasa sgt. panas jer....

already, maybe i should start buat keje lain.

tgh try lagi skalik....

tgh test nak tukar time...

dah masuk second week kat malaysia... the first week aku abiskan ngan mengemas rumah aku... i know it is hard to believe... but it's true people. abis 3 almari baju aku geledah. masalah family aku ialah... diorg suka simpan brg2 yg dah lama and tak guna.. sbb tula selalu tak cukup space, padahal baju takla byk sgt dah. since 3 of my sisters dah tak duduk situ... makin lapang la ... giler best. next plan, nak cat bilik lak.

isnin lepas aku gi KL. naik bas dari kampung. masya-Allah... punyala lama... 2 jam pegi, 2 jam balik. penat nak mampus. mmg aku taknak naik bas dah lepas ni. sanggup tak jumpa matde seminggu sbb still sakit hati kena naik bas lama2. bila la nak pandai bawak keter. aku tgh blaja bwk keter pun skrg ni. baru masuk gear satu and reverse. tapi adik aku jer yg ajar. bolehla...

tak start kuar ngan budak2 m'sia yg lain sbb aku pun malas nak contact diorg... nanti2 la...

sampai dah malaysia... penat ghell dalam plane.. napala kena 24 hours dalm plane.. anyways, skrg ni dah sec day.. baru buat IC baru. semalam kuar ngan matde almost the whole day. since that was the first time dating kat malaysia, felt so awkward. don't know where to go, what to do. mula2 gi serdang, gi mines jap, then gi sungei wang carik hs, then balik the mines.. nasib baik ada kereta... kalau tak, mau menangis aku. sampai rumah pukul 11.30 mlm. mak + adik2 + kakak aku dah membebel2. aku seperti biasa... bagi alasan bodoh2 sikit + buat donno jer.... lepak la kan, normally lepak sampai 1 or 2 or 3 pagi... ok je...ehehe...
maybe this is one of the thing that i need to get use to.

and kena get use to the fact that the stuff here aren't cheap... semua pakai duit. masuk toilet pun duit. entah apa2 ntah.

miss nak hang out ngan korg suma mcm dulu2... kalau aku ada part time.. sure aku stay lama sikit... ehehe... whatever, aku dah kat malaysia skrg... nasib baik musim ujan. kalau tak, mampus aku.

enjoy the spring time....

such a beautiful day today... maybe jap lagi nak kuar, gi ncrb or something... kalau tak malas sgt la.. elly pun dah masuk dalam selimut.. aku baru jer kuar dari selimut. sejuk gak hari nih... mcm nak ujan jer..

semua brg aku dah pack. tinggal nak seal both my boxes. aku takder luggage.. so, kenala letak baju2 and stuff to take home dalam boxes jer.. sure aku takkan guna luggage sgt pun. tomorrow nak balik dah... ermm.. don't know what to feel. happy to see my family again, sad to leave my friends here.. you guys are awesome. gonna miss this spring time wheather...

lawa sikit blog aku skrg ni... even though aku still tak persenolize lagi aku template... nanti2la aku blaja guna photoshop...

dapat dari member... pasal sujud

Sebagai Iktibar tentang kebesaran Allah s.w.t.
Kisah Benar Untuk Dijadikan Ikhtibar
Seorang doktor di Amerika Syarikat telah memeluk Islam kerana
beberapa keajaiban yang ditemuinya dalam penyelidikannya. Dia amat kagum dengan penemuan tersebut, sehingga tidak dapat diterima oleh akal fikiran. Dia adalah seorang doktor neurologi.
Setelah memeluk Islam, dia amat yakin akan perubatan secara Islam dan dengan itu telah membuka sebuah klinik yang bertemakan "Perubatan Melalui Al-Qur'an". Kajian perubatan melalui Al-Qur'an membuatkan ubat-ubatannya berteraskan apa yang terdapat di dalam Al-Qur'an. Di antara kaedah-kaedah yang digunakan termasuklah berpuasa, madu lebah, biji hitam (black seed) dan sebagainya.
Apabila ditanya bagaimana dia tertarik untuk memeluk Islam, maka doktor tersebut memberitahu bahawa semasa beliau melakukan kajian urat saraf, terdapat beberapa urat saraf di dalam otak manusia yang tidak dimasuki oleh darah. Padahal setiap inci otak manusia memerlukan darah yang cukup untuk berfungsi secara normal.
Setelah membuat kajian yang memakan masa, akhirnya beliau
mendapati bahawa darah tidak akan memasuki urat saraf di dalam otak manusia melainkan pada ketika seseorang itu sedang sujud semasa mengerjakan sembahyang. Urat tersebut memerlukan darah hanya untuk beberapa sukatan yang tertentu sahaja. Ini bermaksud bahawa darah hanya akan memasuki urat tersebut mengikut kadar sembahyang waktu
yang diwajibkan oleh Islam. Begitulah keagungan ciptaan Allah.

Jadi barang siapa yang tidak menunaikan sembahyang, maka otaknya tidak akan dapat menerima darah yang secukupnya untuk berfungsi secara normal. Oleh yang demikian, kejadian manusia ini sebenarnya adalah untuk menganuti agama Islam 'sepenuhnya' kerana sifat fitrah kejadiannya memang telah dikaitkan oleh Allah dengan agama-Nya yang indah ini.
Kesimpulannya:
Makhluk Allah yang bergelar manusia yang tidak bersembahyang, apatah lagi yang tidak beragama Islam, walau pun akal mereka berfungsi secara normal, tetapi sebenarnya dalam sesuatu keadaan mereka akan kehilangan pertimbangan dalam membuat keputusan yang normal. Justeru itu, tidak hairanlah jika manusia ini kadang kala tidak segan silu untuk melakukan perkara-perkara yang bertentangan dengan fitrah kejadiannya, walau pun akal mereka mengetahui bahawa perkara yang akan dilakukan itu adalah bersalahan dengan kehendak mereka. Inilah adalah kesan daripada ketidakupayaan otak mereka untuk mempertimbangkan akan perbuatan mereka itu secara lebih normal.
Maka dengan itu tidak hairanlah timbulnya bermacam-macam gejala-gejala sosial masyarakat masakini. Dari itu, marilah kita bersama-sama mengambil ikhtibar daripada kisah di atas. Ambillah Islam secara menyeluruh dan bukannya secara berdikit-dikit.
Dipetik daripada Arab News, 7 Januari (atau Februari) 1987.
Sesungguhnya Allah jualah yang MAHA MENGETAHUI.. Wallahua'lam...
MANJADAWAJADA...

today nak gi mall, beli brg2 yg aku tringin sgt nak beli tapi mahal giler. aku tak biasa beli brg2 mahal... sbb tula kena make sure aku suka giler baru aku beli. this would be my last time menjejakkan kaki ker mall, i think. esok dah nak kena uruskan hal lain lak kat central. tutup bank account and amik transcript, print out resume.... best betul la time spring nih.. lagi best sbb aku dah takyah amik kelas... ehhee.. lepak2 baca romance book dalam bilik jer. bertambah best sbb bilik apis, elly, apu ngan akam dekat2 jer... takyah nak jalan jauh2... bosan duduk bilik elly, gi bilik apu tgk tv (elly takder cable). takpun main pool kat game room.

time2 takder keje ni, semua org nyer blog la aku pegi... dalam satu hari, ada la 2 kali aku gi blog2 org... skrg nak gi mall pukul 3 lak.. so, kali ni, panjang la sikit aku tulis. aku kena pk ni, nak buat apa kat malaysia before aku masuk keje. budak2 pet yg lain kena interview on may 31st. since aku balik awal... aku tak tau aku nyer interview biler. kalau diorg suruh dtg balik sini, cool jer. i don't mind. kalau diorg suruh stay, mampusla aku kena carik formal clothes utk interview. baju aku semua selekeh jer.. dahla mahal suit kat sini.

seronok nyer kat malaysia nanti, aku tak payah masak dah. bosan dah aku makan makanan aku... rasa sama jer.... masak kicap, masak merah, goreng ayam. aku pernah gak try masak kurma and kari. tapi masalahnyer kena letak santan. and santan kat sini sucks giler dia nyer rasa. lagipun, kdg2 aku buat jadi, kdg2 tak jadi...

okla.. nak pukul 3 ni... aku nak bersolek jap b4 gi mall..

elly dah gi kelas... semua org pun dah gi kelas.. aku jer yg tgh duk melepak2... ehehe.. jgn jeles... bangun2 pagi tadi ingat nak gi ncrb.. nak pinjam card elly bila elly kuar pukul 10. tapi half-way jalan, aku terlupa nak bawak m-card nak swap ngan elly. kalau patah balik mmg tak sempat la... last2 aku balik main pool jer... sucks giler aku main. pukul straight pun tak masuk.. tension tul...

hopefully ptg ni tak ujan. boleh aku gi main rollerblade... semalam main, aku rasa dah cukup confident and boleh control the blade.. bila dah masuk spring ni... whether mmgla best.. tapi hidung,mata ngan kulit aku gatal2... tension ghell...

better aku sambung aku nyer tido balik..

last week ada 3 exams.. i was sooo stressed. tinggal satu jer exam next week. and that class aku amik pass/fail. so, takyah sungguh2 study pun takper. aku rasa aku dah biasa study habis2an bila sekolah nak abis. sbb tu la aku try gak nak dpt A for all my graded classes this sem, everything looks so good masa midterms... tapi after finals... aku tak taula camner. kalau aku masih sophomore or freshman aku sure tak kisah sgt. aku rasa aku ada that mentality sbb system blaja kat malaysia camtu. cuma PMR, SPM ngan UPSR jer yg penting. and those exams selalunyer by the end of the year... so, time tu la aku study bagai nak giler.. kalau setakat exams2 tgh tahun, aku buat tak reti jer... in fact, aku selalu dpt no 20 something in class. really cannot believe i can study here. maybe that is what we call a chance.

oh well... in two weeks i will be out of here... starting a new life... hopefully a much better life.. but, we never know. mcm org2 putih ckp, life is like a box of chocolate... and i forgot the rest... or mcm apa yg matde selalu ckp kat aku... hidup ni mcm roda, kejap kat atas, kejap kat bawah... aku tak paham napa he keeps saying that to me.... aku rasa dah cukup puas dah duduk kat sini. aku dpt buat semua benda yg aku nak buat... travelling, skiing, rollerblading, softball, volleyball kejap, main gamelan (buat show kat power center), naik rollercoaster, petik apple.. it's all good...

maybe balik mesia nanti aku nak blaja menembak or some martial art stuff... or dancing... for sure kena blaja bawak kete...

Rahsia Gadis Mengekalkan Keayaun
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Menjaga kejelitaan semulajadi (natural beauty) dengan tidak memakai bahan-bahan luaran tetapi menjaga emosi, fizikal dan mental. Gunakan masa untuk perkara yang berfaedah dan tentukan wawasan secara objektif, jangan banyak angan-angan. Tidur awal setiap malam dan bangun awal setiap pagi untuk solat subuh. Jangan tidur siang hari.

Menjaga suara. Latih diri bercakap dengan nada yang lembut, tidak sengau atau suaranya terlalu kuat.

Menjaga cara berkata-kata. Biasakan menggunakan perkataan yang melambangkan keluhuran budi seperti 'tolong' serta 'minta maaf'. Jangan gunakan perkataan yang terlalu beremosi seperti bosan, sakit hati, menyampah, benci dan sebagainya kerana ia akan menyebabkan muka jadi berkerut dan masam.

Menjaga kulit. Keebrsihan sentiasa dijaga. Makanan yang berupa ulam-ulam yang wangi serta sayuran dan buah-buahan segar patut selalu dimakan. Gunakan sabun yang tidak merosakkan kulit.

Menjaga muka. Tangan perlu sentiasa bersih dan lembut. Jangan gunakan bedak yang bukan-bukan.
Selalu menggunakan bedak sejuk untuk menjaga kulit muka. Jangan banyak berangan.

Menjaga rambut. Ia mahkota kejelitaan gadis. Bersihkan rambut tapi jangan terlalu kerap. Bila bersikat, ulangi sikatan ke seluruh bahagian kepala 100 kali untuk menjadikan rambut subur dan berkilat. Ramai lelaki suka pada gadis berambut panjang tapi kemas.

Menjaga cara berberjalan. Latih cara berjalan. Jauhi dari berjalan mengengkang atau tangan terlalu dihayun. Langkah jangan terlalu besar. Berjalan jangan terlalu laju. Badan jangan terlalu membongkok atau tegak. Leher jangan terteleng (senget sebelah). Muka elok ditundukkan sedikit.

Menjaga gerak-geri. Bila duduk di atas lantai duduklah dengan cara bersimpuh. Kalau duduk di atas kerusi, eloklah sila panggung. Jangan mengangkang. Tangan jangan terlalu digerakkan bila bercakap. Cara bergerak biarlah lemah-lembut.

Menjaga senyum. Latihlah senyum jangan tersengeh. Tutup mulut bila ketawa. Ketawa secara sederhana. Selalu senyum tapi untuk tujuan baik.

Menjaga mata. Mata janganlah terlalu liar memandang sekeliling. Tundukkan mata dan memandang hanya kepada apa yang sedang anda hadapi. Jangan terlalu kerap mengerdipkan mata. Usah terlalu kerap menjeling walaupun kepada buah hati anda.

Menjaga kehormatan. Sentiasa bertemankan ibu atau saudara bila keluar. Minta izin ibubapa. Pakaian sopan. Pulang seawal mungkin.

Menjaga sikap. Taat beragama. Jangan bohong. Jauhi dari merungut. Jauhi dari menjadi amat cerewet dan jaga hati orang lain.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Tamat *

got this from a friend....

============================================================
Choice and Chance...
*****************************
When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the
right time, that's chance.
When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance.
Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together
because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterwards.
When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction
to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want
to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice.
When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you
know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and
richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same,
that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that
lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make.
Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true
about this:
"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soul mates do exist.
That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the
choice if you're going to do something about it or not.
We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mate
is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love... BUT to learn how
to love an imperfect person perfectly...
===============================================================

anger
*******

what makes a person angry?
is it even a valid emotion?
what is anger?
what do people feels when they are angry?
do they feels like punching other people? what if there is no one to hit?
will the heart beats faster?
why the face become so red sometime?
why as a human we need to experience anger?
i think a lot of bad things happen when people get mad. for example... couple breaking up. one country intrude another country. parents disown their own children. friends stop talking to another friend..
isn't life a lot more better if there is no anger in this world?

but, on the other hand, if somehow, we are being bullied or oppressed... then the anger will help us to stop them. we'll rise to the oppressor.
but, do we know what is a "good" and "bad" anger? should I be angry when I lost my room key because the room is too messy? to whom should I feel angry to? to the clothes on the floor? I'm the one that put it there. so, what should I do to mysefl now? scold myself? hit myself? punish myself so I can't watch that 70's show (classical conditioning) ?what good will it do?

---- only Allah knows why.....

lepakking days
******************

minggu ni mmg minggu membuang masa aku... tapi aku rasa, i need the rest. normally kalau aku dah buang masa byk sgt, aku nyer weekdays sure productive... malam khamis dah start hang out sbb bosan, tapi aku rasa start malam rabu pun.... then jumaat ptg, gi dinner ngan budak2 eecs ( graduation party). balik dalam pukul 10.30 , lepak ngan apu, elly, hafiz lak sampai pukul 2 kot...tido pukul 4.30 and bangun pukul 4.30 ptg. then hasdi buat house warming, lepak kat rumah hasdi dari pukul 5 sampai pukul 10.30. pastu lepak ngan elly, hafiz, hakam and bob sampai pukul 2/3 lebih.... esok paginyer pegi rumah mehrun bersama liza...do some girly stuff... sampai pukul 4.30.. and finally at 5.15 makan kat rumah bob with some other guys untill 12.15... damn... byk giler lepak... tapi aku nak balik malaysia pun. might as well spend as much time as possible with these guys... nanti dah susah nak hang out camni lagik... and maybe tak dpt nak mengutuk each other depan2 lagi after this...

already... need to make an outline for my psycho paper.

semalam jumpa sofia.. masa ckp2 pasal nak carik suit kat mana yg murah, tiba2 aku find out yg dia pun budak BBGS gak... damn... tak sangka lak. dahla dia duduk dekat ngan asrama aku. aku SPM 97, sofia SPM 96. then aku 5S2, sofia 5S1. camnerla aku boleh tak prasan sofia... maybe i did, but eventually forgot about it. then gi rumah bob, spank the monkey sat, main bowling sat, then tgk two weeks notice. cool gak la that movie... as usual, i love those kind of movies... romantic movies... i can watch that kind of movies over and over and over again... citer my best friend wedding pun dah tgk berapa puluh kali... selalunyer kalau julia robert, drew berrymore, sandra bullocks and this one actress that i cannot remember her name berlakon, sure best nyer...

hidup ni trasa sungguh kelakar... kdg2 aku rasa seronok... kdg2 rasa sucks giler... kdg2 trasa mcm nak jadi giler... yg peliknyer aku baru jer bersukaria ngan member2 aku tadik... napa lak tiba2 aku rasa tak best ni? nak kata sbb programming, almost done. nak kata pasal balak.. balak jauh beribu batu.... so, mmg takder kena mengena.. maybe aku homesick sikit2 kot. last year, aku homesick since aku balik sini sampaila aku balik malaysia lagi sekali... this year ok sikit.. maybe sbb aku takyah pk pasal sapa2... aku kena risau pasal diri sendiri jer.. i'm sure gonna miss this "doesn't care about anybody else but myself" feeling... bak kata rush, kena pandai jaga diri sendiri... don't let people hurt your feelings.. not that i'm hurt.. just saying..... ermm.. this ramblings can go on and on and on... so, i'm gonna stop here...

skrg ni.. bukak blog semua org, mesti kuar bunyi... aku nyer blog jer takder bunyi... dahla lay out sucks... tapi since aku malas nak tambah benda2 tu semua... aku biar jerla aku nyer blog as simple as it is.... semalam terlepas tgk that 70's show sbb buat programming. hopefully today aku tak terlupa lagi sbb ada will & grace and friends yg baru... suka giler tgk sitcom, bila kat malaysia krg sure tak leh nak tgk selalu.. unless ada astro or something..

semalam tgk confession of a dangerous mind. kinda dissappointed sbb julia robert kuar 5 minite jer... goerge clooney pun takder tunjukkan dia nyer charisma sgt... tapi all in all, aku rasa citer dia not that bad. it's kinda unique... kinda... sorta.. so, skrg i'm looking forward to watch punch drunk love and spy kid 2.

aku nak
************
aku nak jam baru..
aku nak perfume isimiyaki ( tak sure eja tul tak )
aku nak satu suit baru for interview..
aku nak makan ikan merah yg digoreng
aku nak diamond ring
aku nak high heel baru
aku nak crystals...

dalam kelas psycho, cikgu aku ckp, kalau kita amik 2 groups, satu group suruh list down 6 reasons why u love your significant other, and satu lagi group list down 12 reasons why u love your significant other. and after that, tanya balik those people samada dia betul2 satisfied with the partner. the result is, group yg kena list down 6 reaons is more satisfied with his/her partner... sbb kalau kita try carik more reasons kenapa kita suka balak/awek kita than the ones that we know... kita akan start rasa yg kita tak satisfied with him/her...

fuh... baru balik dari shopping... penat giler.. tula yg aku malas nak gi shopping, sure trasa penat in the end. dpt kasut jer.. suit tak dpt.. ada tapi mahal sgt. so, maybe next time aku kena gi lagi... since ada 1 bulan jer lagi nak duduk sini... aku makan mmg tak ingat dunia nyer... everyday makan kat luar.. tak larat dah nak makan food sendiri.

member2 masa high school
******************************
just in case u guys don't know, aku duduk kat Asrama Toh Puan Norashikin and bersekolah di Bukit Bintang Girls' School for 5 years.

yann
budak ATPN gak, satu kelas ngan minah ni from F1, F4 & F5. deskmate kat prep class as well as masa kat sekolah. so, in short, we're very close. gelak sama2, tidur sama2 dalam kelas, kutuk semua cikgu2 yg ajar kitorg sama2 (patutla selalu dpt no corot dalam kelas). minah ni kurus giler sampai org panggil dia kate Moss malaysia... kalau main netball, asyik jatuh jer... org langgar, jatuh, dia langgar org pun dia jatuh gak...muka cam muka hindustan gak... so, mamat paling hensem kat asrama laki ngorat dia... tapi since mamat tu player, aku suruh dia clash... napala.. ko ikut ckp aku yann, kalau aku, aku sure tak ikut pun ckp aku... biasala tu kan...

zana
she's very pretty, people ckp muka mcm posh spice. so, she acted and dress like her (pakai baju itam jer). deskmate at school in F2 and F3. somehow i hated her for a while in F4. can't really remember why... maybe because she poked me a lot... also, lost contact already

ayong
masuk ATPN masa F4. dulu belajar kat sek agama.. so, she was the first person yg pakai tudung labuh kat BBGS (yg pakai tudung pun boleh kira ngan jari). suka gelak besar (pelik gak masa baru2 jumpa). but i got use to it... member duduk kat dalam library masa lunch sbb nak simpan duit utk tambang balik rumah

singa
dpt gelaran ni sbb garang sgt. tapi hati baik... love the way she speaks. muka lawa.. tapi malangnyer byk jerawat.. selalu ada guy problem (akula penasihat nyer).

memem
pakai spec tebal.. skrg dah tak lagi... lawa giler mata dia sbnrnya.. suka joke around and buat aksi stripper... entah mana la blaja.... rajin baca buku, tapi in the end selalunyer buku yg baca dia... selalu invent new words (i.e bergedumbek = bersuka ria tahap maksima)

bugys
inila anakanda aku... sapa2 balak aku akan jadi ayahanda dia la (ko dpt ayahanda muda la skrg bugys).. aku pun tak ingat since bila dia panggil aku bonda. maybe sbb aku selalu membebel and urutkan kepala dia kot...and maybe dari situ jugakla aku develop aku nyer skill mengurut kepala. selalu bergossip bawah ampaian belakang asrama/depan surau etc etc.. dia nyer cousin hot giler...mekanik lak tuh... ehehe...

anis
the first person yg aku bagitau aku nyer "secret" yg forever change my life. she's cool and open minded. tak kisah langsung half-naked dalam bilik... kitorg selalu bertukar2 secret. also member mengorat mamat2 depan asrama. aku stop activity tu bila org lebih gatal dari aku gi ngorat mamat2 tu lak. buruk rupanyer ngorat laki. unfortunately, she left in F3... skrg dah ada 2 anak... (maybe my first friend yg got married)

awin
byk giler ckp and selalu tukar2 balak... so, aku la penasihat dia..... don't know what happen to her now. kinda pretty too.. aku dikelilingi pompuan lawa rupanyer masa high school...

pidah
selalu kena gastrik tapi degil taknak makan ubat and jrg makan.. so, aku selalu tension jer ngan dia... sensitive, very artistic.. roomate since F1 till F5.. fuh... can't believe it...

i hated the school and hostel.. i'm so glad i left the place... but i always miss the people in it... these are the people that have made me what i am today... too many memories that i don't want to forget....

Recently, I learn about personality in psychology class. There is a theory (cannot remember which one) saying that we develop our personality as early as 7 years old and we normally look at our parents as a role model. I strongly agree with that. I really look up at my parents. I’m so amaze at how my father feed, cloth and school 8 people with only RM1000 a month. Right now, I don’t think I can even live with 1000, let alone feed another human being. And my mom, she stayed at home, all day long taking care of us. It must be so stressful. But she pulled it through. It is truly amazing. My dad never believe in telling his children what not to do. So, whenever he doesn’t agree with what I wanted to do, he’ll start giving out 1000 reasons why I shouldn’t do it. And when I’m not doing very well at school (i.e. Got third place from bottom), he’ll start asking why and why and why…. It happened. Believe me, it is very2 annoying. I love them so much but unfortunately, I never say it in front of them. We are just never good at expressing our feeling. I think my mom is so cool because she always let me cut class whenever I want especially in high school. I don’t know why, but I always hated school.

People always say, the reason why we have to get a degree is to get a good job. I think that is true to some extent. But, for me, going to school, teach me how to think. So I can be a better person. So hopefully I’ll make better judgments when the occasion arises. Even though by now I realize that I keep making stupid decisions in my life.

- Split Personality-

finally, aku dah amik brg2 matde dari Bate. pukul 8.30 pagi baru nak call aku. rupa2nyer dia tunggu aku kat office dia. ngok sungguh. dah suruh aku call bilik dia, dia gi pulak tunggu kat office. as usual, before dpt nak set kan masa nak jumpa, membebel2 la dia dalam tepon. tak boleh ker kalau set kan masa terus, takyah byk bunyik.. anyways, sapa2 yg terbaca blog aku ni, aku ada byk brg2 matde yg aku nak kasik..so, call me.

tiba2 aku rasa mual2 and pening2 kepala hari ni... takkanla aku kena keracunan makanan lagik? logik gak sbnrnya sbb pagi tadi aku minum susu yg date dah mampus hari ni. dasyat giler la aku kat sini. asal ada food, telan jer.. aku mmg tak reti nak bezakan food tu dah spoil ke idak. so, byk kali la aku ni kena keracunan makanan kat sini. kdg2 kalau dah lapa sgt, makanan dah rasa lain sikit pun, aku terpaksa telan jer and just hoping i won't get sick.....

Song of the day
******************************
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away with me where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows
knee kigh
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountain top
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

ps: betul la kata apu, lagu ni best...

things are going pretty ok skrg ni.. program no 5 dah siap ngan berjaya nyer.. so, everything is good.

petronas nyer interview kena tangguh la pulak. starting next month, hidup aku sure dah busy. final and all.. tolongla jgn masa aku nyer final diorg nak buat interview.. pastu dgr2 maybe pet takder keje for electrical engineers. kalau camni, terpaksala aku carik keje kat kilang electronics kat malaysia.... jadi minah kilang balik la aku ni....tapi cool gak.. boleh jumpa mat2 motor... ehehe... i don't know why, tapi aku rasa mat2 motor is soooo cooolllll... and smoking guys are cool too.... maybe masa aku growing up, most guys yg aku jumpa is mat motor and smoker kot...

lama giler aku dah tak update aku nyer blog, busy giler lately... ermm.. skrg dah rasa boleh bernafas sikit. weekend kena study for exam on monday la tapi.

semenjak2 aku nak abis blaja ni, byk kali gakla aku reflect kat benda2 bodoh yg aku pernah buat semenjak masuk tadika(sbb that's the earliest memory that i have). tapi semua benda2 bodoh yg aku buat tu ada pengajaran dia jugak....

hari ni, aku nak cerita one of it. setiap hari nak gi tadika, kakak aku bonceng aku naik basikal. masa duduk kat belakang tu, aku selalu la tengok jari2 basikal tu...aku curious giler, camner la kalau aku masukkan tumit aku dalam jejari tu... satu hari ni, aku decided nak masukkan gak, mula2 rasa geli2... and tak sakit pun...lama gak aku biar jer.... then bila kakak aku nak stop basikal, aku trasa sakit... dia tak tau pun aku buat tu... pastu aku tengok tumit dah takder kulit.... giler ngeri... lepas tu, aku dah tak ingat apa jadi. aku rasa cikgu aku balutkan kaki aku kot.. so, pengajaran dari insiden tu, walaupun camner curious pun kat something, jgn pakai buat jer.. pk dulu...

ok.. sekian terima kasih...

Dear, dear diary

I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

I've been a bad, bad girl
For so long
Don't know how to change
What went wrong
Daddy's little girl
But he went away
What did it teach me?
That love leaves yeah, yeah

Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary

I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

I've been down every road
You could go
I've made some bad choices
As you know
Seems like I got this whole world
Cradled in my hand
It's just like me not to understand, yeah

Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I've been a bad, bad girl

I learned my lessons young and
I turned myself around

I gotta guardian angel
Tattooed on my shoulder
She's been watchin' over me


Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

got this from a friend....

sekali skala best jugak ye ckp pasal cinta, so if you are bored and have
nothing else to do, go ahead and read on..

recently i learned one new lesson about love.

sure korang pernah selalu dgr kan.. org kate gini "Don't find love, let it find
you, that's why it's called falling in love because you don't force
yourself to
fall you just fall." pernah tak?

dlm quote di atas, love works as a noun kan? (haa masuk grammar sikit).

but according to writer Stephen R. Covey in his book 7 habits of highly
effective people, love should not be used as a noun, but should be used
as a
verb.

once a husband ask Mr Covey, lebeh krg mcm ni kot bunyi dia "Sir,
there's no
love between my wife and i anymore.. what should i do?"
Covey replied "love her".
"but sir, you don't understand, there's no more love. the feeling has
gone"
"that's all the more reason for u to love her. love her, so there's
love"

phm ke korang?

covey kate lagi, passive people will wait for love, and enjoy it while
it's
there, and when it's gone, it's gone, they have no power over it.
proactive
people act on love, by loving.

kalau tak paham tanye lah expert yek.

tapi kalau ade satu kapel, in order for this principle to work, both
parties
kene jadik pro active aa kan.. baru aa slamat kot. eh lagi satu kene
ade jodoh.

one more thing, aku gi mall jap and jumpa satu baju cotton yg best. trasa mcm nak beli, tapi 28 bucks.. mcm tak worth it jer... considering cuma utk pakai kat rumah jer... bila balik malaysia nanti takleh pakai pun, adala kena pelangkung ngan adik2 laki aku krg sbb pakai baju seksi kat rumah... maybe next time aku pegi lagi, baju tu dah murah... maybe... maybe...

finally, bilik aku dah siuman balik... baju pun dah hantar ke laundry room... lega sikit rasa. program pun in progress.. so, all in all, i think everything is in good shape. cuma skrg, matde tgh sakit. demam kuat katanya... hopefully dia sembuh la tak lama lagik. risau aku... asyik demam jer since balik malaysia... rindu aku kot... ehehe...

semalam tgk blog apu, dia ada tulis bahasa serawak.. so, aku pun nak gakla ajar bahasa jawa. tapi banyak vocab yg aku tak ingat..so, utk hari ni..ini jerla yg aku ingat

saya = nyong/ku
sudah = wes
awak = kuwe/riko
mandi = adus
apa kabar = kabare
sihat = waras
makan = mangan
sedang makan = madang
makan lagi sekali lepas makan = mentong
tido = turu
handsome = garang

well... skrg dah start spring break... ermm.. what to do... what to do.. aku plan nak gi ccrb.. bersenam sikit... ehehe.. have been trying to do that for the last three weeks tapi tak jadi2... sbb kononnyer busy nak study for exams. padahal alasan nak menyedapkan hati jer.. hopefully boleh turun another 10 lb so, balik malaysia nanti boleh naik lagi 10 lb... anyways... apa2 hal pun, yg pentingnye aku nak kena put my room in order first. kena buat laundry, basuh pinggan, kutip tisu2 yg bertaburan... i'm seriously getting a maid when i get married. takpun paksa balak aku jadi rajin kemas rumah.. yeah right... like that gonna happen.

aku dah rasa penat giler skrg nih.. nak study pun rasa tak larat.. nak tidur, takleh lelap.. nak makan... tak selera.. and tak der food pun. harap2 la boleh gi pegi meijer/kroger malam ni. tapi kalau pegi pun, apa yg aku nak beli? buah2 jer yg aku lalu makan. kalau beli crap, sure aku tak makan.. adala sebulan tak abis2 krg.. bosan nyerla food kat sini. aku dah sampai tahap tak reti nak makan apa kat sini. tadi gi makan subway pun dah naik muak... menyampah betul aku time2 trasa semuanyer tak betul nih. boleh tak kalau nak kuar, kuar jer.. takyahla nak men-unstablekan emosi aku.. sucks giler.. anyways, hopefully this feeling will go away soon.

-come into my world-

akhirnya.. aku nyer exams dah abis.. mmg stress giler minggu nih... balik bilik pun terus tidur. penat giler punya pasal. lepas ni nak kena siapkan programming proj 4 lak.. hopefully boleh siap cepat so aku boleh enjoy masa spring break..

exam psycho today... kawan2.. doakanla aku ingat semua benda yg aku baca and dapat 100...

As I get older, I realized that sometimes, we don’t have to understand why things happened, we just have to accept it and try to live with it.

Still haven’t studied yet… camner aku nak dapat A nih…

-whishin’ + hopin’-