hidup ni trasa sungguh kelakar... kdg2 aku rasa seronok... kdg2 rasa sucks giler... kdg2 trasa mcm nak jadi giler... yg peliknyer aku baru jer bersukaria ngan member2 aku tadik... napa lak tiba2 aku rasa tak best ni? nak kata sbb programming, almost done. nak kata pasal balak.. balak jauh beribu batu.... so, mmg takder kena mengena.. maybe aku homesick sikit2 kot. last year, aku homesick since aku balik sini sampaila aku balik malaysia lagi sekali... this year ok sikit.. maybe sbb aku takyah pk pasal sapa2... aku kena risau pasal diri sendiri jer.. i'm sure gonna miss this "doesn't care about anybody else but myself" feeling... bak kata rush, kena pandai jaga diri sendiri... don't let people hurt your feelings.. not that i'm hurt.. just saying..... ermm.. this ramblings can go on and on and on... so, i'm gonna stop here...

skrg ni.. bukak blog semua org, mesti kuar bunyi... aku nyer blog jer takder bunyi... dahla lay out sucks... tapi since aku malas nak tambah benda2 tu semua... aku biar jerla aku nyer blog as simple as it is.... semalam terlepas tgk that 70's show sbb buat programming. hopefully today aku tak terlupa lagi sbb ada will & grace and friends yg baru... suka giler tgk sitcom, bila kat malaysia krg sure tak leh nak tgk selalu.. unless ada astro or something..

semalam tgk confession of a dangerous mind. kinda dissappointed sbb julia robert kuar 5 minite jer... goerge clooney pun takder tunjukkan dia nyer charisma sgt... tapi all in all, aku rasa citer dia not that bad. it's kinda unique... kinda... sorta.. so, skrg i'm looking forward to watch punch drunk love and spy kid 2.

aku nak
************
aku nak jam baru..
aku nak perfume isimiyaki ( tak sure eja tul tak )
aku nak satu suit baru for interview..
aku nak makan ikan merah yg digoreng
aku nak diamond ring
aku nak high heel baru
aku nak crystals...

dalam kelas psycho, cikgu aku ckp, kalau kita amik 2 groups, satu group suruh list down 6 reasons why u love your significant other, and satu lagi group list down 12 reasons why u love your significant other. and after that, tanya balik those people samada dia betul2 satisfied with the partner. the result is, group yg kena list down 6 reaons is more satisfied with his/her partner... sbb kalau kita try carik more reasons kenapa kita suka balak/awek kita than the ones that we know... kita akan start rasa yg kita tak satisfied with him/her...

fuh... baru balik dari shopping... penat giler.. tula yg aku malas nak gi shopping, sure trasa penat in the end. dpt kasut jer.. suit tak dpt.. ada tapi mahal sgt. so, maybe next time aku kena gi lagi... since ada 1 bulan jer lagi nak duduk sini... aku makan mmg tak ingat dunia nyer... everyday makan kat luar.. tak larat dah nak makan food sendiri.

member2 masa high school
******************************
just in case u guys don't know, aku duduk kat Asrama Toh Puan Norashikin and bersekolah di Bukit Bintang Girls' School for 5 years.

yann
budak ATPN gak, satu kelas ngan minah ni from F1, F4 & F5. deskmate kat prep class as well as masa kat sekolah. so, in short, we're very close. gelak sama2, tidur sama2 dalam kelas, kutuk semua cikgu2 yg ajar kitorg sama2 (patutla selalu dpt no corot dalam kelas). minah ni kurus giler sampai org panggil dia kate Moss malaysia... kalau main netball, asyik jatuh jer... org langgar, jatuh, dia langgar org pun dia jatuh gak...muka cam muka hindustan gak... so, mamat paling hensem kat asrama laki ngorat dia... tapi since mamat tu player, aku suruh dia clash... napala.. ko ikut ckp aku yann, kalau aku, aku sure tak ikut pun ckp aku... biasala tu kan...

zana
she's very pretty, people ckp muka mcm posh spice. so, she acted and dress like her (pakai baju itam jer). deskmate at school in F2 and F3. somehow i hated her for a while in F4. can't really remember why... maybe because she poked me a lot... also, lost contact already

ayong
masuk ATPN masa F4. dulu belajar kat sek agama.. so, she was the first person yg pakai tudung labuh kat BBGS (yg pakai tudung pun boleh kira ngan jari). suka gelak besar (pelik gak masa baru2 jumpa). but i got use to it... member duduk kat dalam library masa lunch sbb nak simpan duit utk tambang balik rumah

singa
dpt gelaran ni sbb garang sgt. tapi hati baik... love the way she speaks. muka lawa.. tapi malangnyer byk jerawat.. selalu ada guy problem (akula penasihat nyer).

memem
pakai spec tebal.. skrg dah tak lagi... lawa giler mata dia sbnrnya.. suka joke around and buat aksi stripper... entah mana la blaja.... rajin baca buku, tapi in the end selalunyer buku yg baca dia... selalu invent new words (i.e bergedumbek = bersuka ria tahap maksima)

bugys
inila anakanda aku... sapa2 balak aku akan jadi ayahanda dia la (ko dpt ayahanda muda la skrg bugys).. aku pun tak ingat since bila dia panggil aku bonda. maybe sbb aku selalu membebel and urutkan kepala dia kot...and maybe dari situ jugakla aku develop aku nyer skill mengurut kepala. selalu bergossip bawah ampaian belakang asrama/depan surau etc etc.. dia nyer cousin hot giler...mekanik lak tuh... ehehe...

anis
the first person yg aku bagitau aku nyer "secret" yg forever change my life. she's cool and open minded. tak kisah langsung half-naked dalam bilik... kitorg selalu bertukar2 secret. also member mengorat mamat2 depan asrama. aku stop activity tu bila org lebih gatal dari aku gi ngorat mamat2 tu lak. buruk rupanyer ngorat laki. unfortunately, she left in F3... skrg dah ada 2 anak... (maybe my first friend yg got married)

awin
byk giler ckp and selalu tukar2 balak... so, aku la penasihat dia..... don't know what happen to her now. kinda pretty too.. aku dikelilingi pompuan lawa rupanyer masa high school...

pidah
selalu kena gastrik tapi degil taknak makan ubat and jrg makan.. so, aku selalu tension jer ngan dia... sensitive, very artistic.. roomate since F1 till F5.. fuh... can't believe it...

i hated the school and hostel.. i'm so glad i left the place... but i always miss the people in it... these are the people that have made me what i am today... too many memories that i don't want to forget....

Recently, I learn about personality in psychology class. There is a theory (cannot remember which one) saying that we develop our personality as early as 7 years old and we normally look at our parents as a role model. I strongly agree with that. I really look up at my parents. I’m so amaze at how my father feed, cloth and school 8 people with only RM1000 a month. Right now, I don’t think I can even live with 1000, let alone feed another human being. And my mom, she stayed at home, all day long taking care of us. It must be so stressful. But she pulled it through. It is truly amazing. My dad never believe in telling his children what not to do. So, whenever he doesn’t agree with what I wanted to do, he’ll start giving out 1000 reasons why I shouldn’t do it. And when I’m not doing very well at school (i.e. Got third place from bottom), he’ll start asking why and why and why…. It happened. Believe me, it is very2 annoying. I love them so much but unfortunately, I never say it in front of them. We are just never good at expressing our feeling. I think my mom is so cool because she always let me cut class whenever I want especially in high school. I don’t know why, but I always hated school.

People always say, the reason why we have to get a degree is to get a good job. I think that is true to some extent. But, for me, going to school, teach me how to think. So I can be a better person. So hopefully I’ll make better judgments when the occasion arises. Even though by now I realize that I keep making stupid decisions in my life.

- Split Personality-

finally, aku dah amik brg2 matde dari Bate. pukul 8.30 pagi baru nak call aku. rupa2nyer dia tunggu aku kat office dia. ngok sungguh. dah suruh aku call bilik dia, dia gi pulak tunggu kat office. as usual, before dpt nak set kan masa nak jumpa, membebel2 la dia dalam tepon. tak boleh ker kalau set kan masa terus, takyah byk bunyik.. anyways, sapa2 yg terbaca blog aku ni, aku ada byk brg2 matde yg aku nak kasik..so, call me.

tiba2 aku rasa mual2 and pening2 kepala hari ni... takkanla aku kena keracunan makanan lagik? logik gak sbnrnya sbb pagi tadi aku minum susu yg date dah mampus hari ni. dasyat giler la aku kat sini. asal ada food, telan jer.. aku mmg tak reti nak bezakan food tu dah spoil ke idak. so, byk kali la aku ni kena keracunan makanan kat sini. kdg2 kalau dah lapa sgt, makanan dah rasa lain sikit pun, aku terpaksa telan jer and just hoping i won't get sick.....

Song of the day
******************************
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away with me where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows
knee kigh
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountain top
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

ps: betul la kata apu, lagu ni best...

things are going pretty ok skrg ni.. program no 5 dah siap ngan berjaya nyer.. so, everything is good.

petronas nyer interview kena tangguh la pulak. starting next month, hidup aku sure dah busy. final and all.. tolongla jgn masa aku nyer final diorg nak buat interview.. pastu dgr2 maybe pet takder keje for electrical engineers. kalau camni, terpaksala aku carik keje kat kilang electronics kat malaysia.... jadi minah kilang balik la aku ni....tapi cool gak.. boleh jumpa mat2 motor... ehehe... i don't know why, tapi aku rasa mat2 motor is soooo cooolllll... and smoking guys are cool too.... maybe masa aku growing up, most guys yg aku jumpa is mat motor and smoker kot...

lama giler aku dah tak update aku nyer blog, busy giler lately... ermm.. skrg dah rasa boleh bernafas sikit. weekend kena study for exam on monday la tapi.

semenjak2 aku nak abis blaja ni, byk kali gakla aku reflect kat benda2 bodoh yg aku pernah buat semenjak masuk tadika(sbb that's the earliest memory that i have). tapi semua benda2 bodoh yg aku buat tu ada pengajaran dia jugak....

hari ni, aku nak cerita one of it. setiap hari nak gi tadika, kakak aku bonceng aku naik basikal. masa duduk kat belakang tu, aku selalu la tengok jari2 basikal tu...aku curious giler, camner la kalau aku masukkan tumit aku dalam jejari tu... satu hari ni, aku decided nak masukkan gak, mula2 rasa geli2... and tak sakit pun...lama gak aku biar jer.... then bila kakak aku nak stop basikal, aku trasa sakit... dia tak tau pun aku buat tu... pastu aku tengok tumit dah takder kulit.... giler ngeri... lepas tu, aku dah tak ingat apa jadi. aku rasa cikgu aku balutkan kaki aku kot.. so, pengajaran dari insiden tu, walaupun camner curious pun kat something, jgn pakai buat jer.. pk dulu...

ok.. sekian terima kasih...

Dear, dear diary

I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

I've been a bad, bad girl
For so long
Don't know how to change
What went wrong
Daddy's little girl
But he went away
What did it teach me?
That love leaves yeah, yeah

Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary

I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

I've been down every road
You could go
I've made some bad choices
As you know
Seems like I got this whole world
Cradled in my hand
It's just like me not to understand, yeah

Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I've been a bad, bad girl

I learned my lessons young and
I turned myself around

I gotta guardian angel
Tattooed on my shoulder
She's been watchin' over me


Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
'Cause you're the only one
That I know will keep them
Dear, dear diary
I wanna tell my secrets
I know you'll keep them
So this is what I've done

got this from a friend....

sekali skala best jugak ye ckp pasal cinta, so if you are bored and have
nothing else to do, go ahead and read on..

recently i learned one new lesson about love.

sure korang pernah selalu dgr kan.. org kate gini "Don't find love, let it find
you, that's why it's called falling in love because you don't force
yourself to
fall you just fall." pernah tak?

dlm quote di atas, love works as a noun kan? (haa masuk grammar sikit).

but according to writer Stephen R. Covey in his book 7 habits of highly
effective people, love should not be used as a noun, but should be used
as a
verb.

once a husband ask Mr Covey, lebeh krg mcm ni kot bunyi dia "Sir,
there's no
love between my wife and i anymore.. what should i do?"
Covey replied "love her".
"but sir, you don't understand, there's no more love. the feeling has
gone"
"that's all the more reason for u to love her. love her, so there's
love"

phm ke korang?

covey kate lagi, passive people will wait for love, and enjoy it while
it's
there, and when it's gone, it's gone, they have no power over it.
proactive
people act on love, by loving.

kalau tak paham tanye lah expert yek.

tapi kalau ade satu kapel, in order for this principle to work, both
parties
kene jadik pro active aa kan.. baru aa slamat kot. eh lagi satu kene
ade jodoh.

one more thing, aku gi mall jap and jumpa satu baju cotton yg best. trasa mcm nak beli, tapi 28 bucks.. mcm tak worth it jer... considering cuma utk pakai kat rumah jer... bila balik malaysia nanti takleh pakai pun, adala kena pelangkung ngan adik2 laki aku krg sbb pakai baju seksi kat rumah... maybe next time aku pegi lagi, baju tu dah murah... maybe... maybe...

finally, bilik aku dah siuman balik... baju pun dah hantar ke laundry room... lega sikit rasa. program pun in progress.. so, all in all, i think everything is in good shape. cuma skrg, matde tgh sakit. demam kuat katanya... hopefully dia sembuh la tak lama lagik. risau aku... asyik demam jer since balik malaysia... rindu aku kot... ehehe...

semalam tgk blog apu, dia ada tulis bahasa serawak.. so, aku pun nak gakla ajar bahasa jawa. tapi banyak vocab yg aku tak ingat..so, utk hari ni..ini jerla yg aku ingat

saya = nyong/ku
sudah = wes
awak = kuwe/riko
mandi = adus
apa kabar = kabare
sihat = waras
makan = mangan
sedang makan = madang
makan lagi sekali lepas makan = mentong
tido = turu
handsome = garang

well... skrg dah start spring break... ermm.. what to do... what to do.. aku plan nak gi ccrb.. bersenam sikit... ehehe.. have been trying to do that for the last three weeks tapi tak jadi2... sbb kononnyer busy nak study for exams. padahal alasan nak menyedapkan hati jer.. hopefully boleh turun another 10 lb so, balik malaysia nanti boleh naik lagi 10 lb... anyways... apa2 hal pun, yg pentingnye aku nak kena put my room in order first. kena buat laundry, basuh pinggan, kutip tisu2 yg bertaburan... i'm seriously getting a maid when i get married. takpun paksa balak aku jadi rajin kemas rumah.. yeah right... like that gonna happen.

aku dah rasa penat giler skrg nih.. nak study pun rasa tak larat.. nak tidur, takleh lelap.. nak makan... tak selera.. and tak der food pun. harap2 la boleh gi pegi meijer/kroger malam ni. tapi kalau pegi pun, apa yg aku nak beli? buah2 jer yg aku lalu makan. kalau beli crap, sure aku tak makan.. adala sebulan tak abis2 krg.. bosan nyerla food kat sini. aku dah sampai tahap tak reti nak makan apa kat sini. tadi gi makan subway pun dah naik muak... menyampah betul aku time2 trasa semuanyer tak betul nih. boleh tak kalau nak kuar, kuar jer.. takyahla nak men-unstablekan emosi aku.. sucks giler.. anyways, hopefully this feeling will go away soon.

-come into my world-

akhirnya.. aku nyer exams dah abis.. mmg stress giler minggu nih... balik bilik pun terus tidur. penat giler punya pasal. lepas ni nak kena siapkan programming proj 4 lak.. hopefully boleh siap cepat so aku boleh enjoy masa spring break..

exam psycho today... kawan2.. doakanla aku ingat semua benda yg aku baca and dapat 100...

As I get older, I realized that sometimes, we don’t have to understand why things happened, we just have to accept it and try to live with it.

Still haven’t studied yet… camner aku nak dapat A nih…

-whishin’ + hopin’-